Triage complaints- the good, the bad, and the shocking. - page 9

"I was raped by an octopus." "I have severe, severe, severe, SEVERE, SEVERE cold sores!" (five severes, I counted. And one cold sore visible.) Discuss.... Read More

  1. by   Sassy5d
    All that popped up was 'he said he was an a--' and what it was about was he said he was assaulted. Good chuckle
  2. by   brillohead
  3. by   Little_Mouse
    ^ omg that's great! Lol
  4. by   outlierrn
    Paraphrased for simplicity:

    Pt. I think I have a kidney stone.
    Me. Describe your pain.
    Pt. Vague, diffuse, mild.
    Me. ?? Have you ever had a kidney stone before?
    Pt. No.
    Me. What makes you think you have one now?
    Pt. I have a diagnosed staph infection in my ear, and I read on the internet that staph infections can cause kidney stones.
    Me. (to myself) If your ear infection caused a kidney stone, you must have a Eustation tube longer than my..., well, it'd be pretty long.
  5. by   turnforthenurse
    Patient comes in via EMS. CC? They ate Chinese food an hour ago and felt like rice was stuck in their throat. Breathing just fine. The things people call EMS for...
  6. by   sissiesmama
    Quote from diosadelsol
    "I think I'm butt-pregnant" - was concerned after having sex via the out door. Not very intelligence, to say the least.
    Oh NO!! This one kills me!! Sounds like they needed the film "where do babies come from" again. I'm still laughing about that one!!

    Anne, RNC
  7. by   redhead_NURSE98!
    Quote from turnforthenurseRN
    Patient comes in via EMS. CC? They ate Chinese food an hour ago and felt like rice was stuck in their throat. Breathing just fine. The things people call EMS for...
    Rice is an interesting thing to think is stuck in your throat. However this reminds me of the patient I had who felt something was stuck in his throat and was constantly spitting his saliva into a bag while awake, no trouble breathing or anything, but when he was asleep somehow he swallowed his drool just fine. I was like, "FOS." But the next morning he had an EGD and by God he had a giant piece of roast beef stuck in his esophagus!!!!
  8. by   emtb2rn
    Quote from redhead_NURSE98!
    he had a giant piece of roast beef stuck in his esophagus!!!!
    We have an older gentleman who comes in evrry couple of months with chunk of beef stuck in his throat. Moves air just fine. GI doc does bedside scope (not my favorite procedure), pulls out the obstruction and then after the pt is fully recovered, he gets the "chew your food" lecture from everybody. Hasn't sunk in yet.
  9. by   That Guy
    Quote from emtb2rn
    We have an older gentleman who comes in evrry couple of months with chunk of beef stuck in his throat. Moves air just fine. GI doc does bedside scope (not my favorite procedure), pulls out the obstruction and then after the pt is fully recovered, he gets the "chew your food" lecture from everybody. Hasn't sunk in yet.
    Thats the go to is a scope?!
  10. by   emtb2rn
    For this guy, yeah they go straight to scope.
  11. by   IrishErin
    A 25 year old girl came in last night stating that she had a "cyst like" lump on her lower back that she had been dealing with for a year or so, but had just recently been giving her pain that radiated down into her lower extremities.


    There was no cyst. It was her SI joint. She argued it so much that we got out an anatomy book to show her.
    Lol.
  12. by   morte
    Well, if she was having pain down her leg, what WAS causing it?
    Quote from IrishErin
    A 25 year old girl came in last night stating that she had a "cyst like" lump on her lower back that she had been dealing with for a year or so, but had just recently been giving her pain that radiated down into her lower extremities.


    There was no cyst. It was her SI joint. She argued it so much that we got out an anatomy book to show her.
    Lol.
  13. by   Esme12
    Quote from morte
    Well, if she was having pain down her leg, what WAS causing it?
    I know what you are thinking...Cauda Equina...aren't you?

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