Triage complaints- the good, the bad, and the shocking. - page 4

by canoehead

119,530 Views | 333 Comments

"I was raped by an octopus." "I have severe, severe, severe, SEVERE, SEVERE cold sores!" (five severes, I counted. And one cold sore visible.) Discuss.... Read More


  1. 11
    Quote from Flyboy17
    "My doctor told me to come in beacause I have the unstable vagina"
    Snort! I had a similar complaint from an old gentleman with "turrrible vagina" who took "TNT" for the pain (somewhere he confused medical nitrogycerin with the "blow stuff up" kind!)
  2. 13
    Quote from Flyboy17
    "My doctor told me to come in beacause I have the unstable vagina"
    Haha! I'm going to call the next incompetent cervix I see unstable vagina.
    all4neuro, elprup, HyperSaurus, RN, and 10 others like this.
  3. 3
    Quote from canoehead
    That's not a seizure, that's the macarena.
    Thanks, now the song is stuck in my head!
    nitenite, uRNmyway, and canoehead like this.
  4. 4
    I love these stories. They're exactly why I don't want to work ER, but I do enjoy reading them.

    On the other hand, I took my 16 year old daughter to the ER when a stick was under her great toe nail. She'd been washing her car with flip flops on, and literally embedded a small stick. Not a splinter. I remember the looks on the nurses' faces until they saw the stick protruding.
    I knew I'd get the eye rolling, nonverbal contempt at the window when I explained why we were there. It did my heart good when they quietly removed the tweezers they brought to the room.
    My husband offered to get the needle nose pliers from the truck, after several attempts with several different clamps didn't dislodge the stick.
  5. 1
    Quote from ~*Stargazer*~
    "Midgets are fighting in my crotch."
    And what was the medical diagnosis? STD or Mental Illness or both?
    Fiona59 likes this.
  6. 4
    Quote from psu_213
    "I haven't been able to get an erection for 6 months." (the pt, not me )
    And this became an emergency tonight because........? Hot date?
    Sadala, Fiona59, canoehead, and 1 other like this.
  7. 0
    Quote from DawnJ
    And what was the medical diagnosis? STD or Mental Illness or both?
    See post #24.
  8. 0
    5:58 pm by [COLOR=#003366]FlorenceNtheMachine[/COLOR]
    5:58 pm by [COLOR=#003366]FlorenceNtheMachine[/COLOR] A member since Aug '12. FlorenceNtheMachine has 'Goose-Egg' year(s) of nursing experience and specializes in 'Critical Care'. Posts: 53 Likes: 102
    Awards:

    [COLOR=#003366]Quote[/COLOR] from Flyboy17
    "My doctor told me to come in beacause I have the unstable vagina"
    Haha! I'm going to call the next incompetent cervix I see unstable vagina.


    I guess one could have the unstable vagina if their Ph is out of whack and have a yeast infection.
  9. 4
    1) Guy brought in by the police (who were giving him a ride because he was out walking in a blizzard - not because of any criminal activity) who told me "I'm having trouble satisfying my woman".
    2) Shrieking woman who had a "chunk of metal" in her thumb (it was an un-stapled staple and was all of one cell layer deep in her thumb.)
    3) Same blizzard as above (-80 wind chill) - woman brought her four day old baby in for diaper rash. Took two bus transfers to get to us. Yes, the police drove them home.
  10. 3
    OkayOkay, I'll try to get back on track here.

    Had a guy drive himself in in V Tach. Drove across town, walked into the lobby, cool as a cucumber. He'd had it before and knew what it was.

    Had another guy vomit once in the bathroom at the movie theater. No comorbidities, no other complaints. Vomited once and came in by ambulance. An adult man.

    Had a diabetic homeless guy inject himself with a large dose of insulin shortly before walking in through the lobby. He wanted to be admitted to the hospital.


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