Rules for the ER (long)

4.) If you feel like your going to vomit, please vomit in the trash can or the emesis basin that was given to you. Not on the floor.

And not on me and my shoes!

New Rule #1: If you are a drug seeker, and you tell me that you are allergic to morphine, toradol, ibuprofen, and tylenol, but that you got this one drug once that started with a "d" --could it be, dilala? or--demolol? don't expect me to tell you the truth when i get you the stuff and you ask me how many many milligrams it is.

Corallary to New Rule #1: Telling me that the number of milligrams you got never works and that you need more immediately will make me very, very unlikely to believe that your pain is a 10.

WOW, I worked ER for 4 years, and it's like ya'll are taking the words right out of my brain...so true!

I love this thread.

When I walk in the room and start to introduce myself and you cut me off to ask for a warm blanket and something to drink, you are at the very bottom of my priority list the rest of the time you are here.

When I am walking down the hall with both arms full of meds/tubing/pump, do not stop me to ask me to find out how much longer for pain meds, I don't know who your nurse is, I don't care, I am busy.

You will not eat or drink until I get all tests back, you can ask 7 times, you can use your call light, you will not starve, the answer is no.

No I will not numb you first for the IV. I don't even know how, because I have never done it, and I don't care. This is the emergency room, your problem should hurt more than and IV stick, if not, go home.

Syncope is not an emergency unless you are old or have a major medical problem. Drink some damn water and take a nap, I almost passed out on my way down the hall to check you in, suck it up.

Don't ask me "what do you think it could be" if I could give you a diagnosis I would have a F%$^(*&&^# MD at the end of name, and If you push me I will tell you it's likely cancer, a stroke, or a heart attack. And I don't have time to get into that.

I can just see them pretending to "recall" the name of their DOC. If I wanted to see bad acting, I'd go to a Steven Seagal movie.
I guess it's the whole insult to my intelligence that gets to me.

Luving it! I volunteered in the ED for 1 month before I started nursing school and decided I really really didn't want to work there.

So, here's some post ER thoughts for you guys (so you don't think us inpatient nurses sell you out):

1) Don't complain to me about how long your wait was before you got your room. Trust me, I can tell that the ED didn't want to keep you any longer than they had to!

2) Don't complain about your ER nurse. By definition, I like her/him better than you. It's like the Fraternal Order of Nurses. This just makes me believe you will complain about me when you get out of the ICU to the floor. Why do I want to go out of my way for you?

3) If you can talk, then there is usually someone sicker (see original post) than you that I'm taking care of. I will not go outside where the smokers are to find your girlfriend.

4) Trust me, the ER nurse did you favor by not starting GoLytely while you were on a stretcher in the hall down in the ED. Now, drink it or my friend the 14fr NG tube will find it's way down your nose.

5) Too bad you got out of bed without calling for help to go get your stuff/play with the TV (how about using that remote I gave ya, huh?)/fix your sheet/etc and pulled out that IV the ED nurse put in. Because now I have to put in a new one and I'm not nearly as good as the ED nurse is. Sit down, this could take a while.

6) Every time you threaten that you will never come back to our ED or hospital, we all pray that you mean it. This is not a threat, it's a blessing.

7) If you threatened/abused/mistreated anybody in the ED, we will find out and then restrain you. We are good at it. We have lots of practice.

Thanks to you guys for being on the front line.

Oh, I know you just had a bad day and all, but I would take issue with #5. There is actually substantial disagreement within medicine whether the symptom of moderate fever in children should be treated with antipyretics. Furthermore, a child who already has a high fever is at very low risk for a febrile seizure. Febrile seizures most often occur when fever comes on quickly and spikes quickly-often before anyone even realizes the child's temperature is above normal. And lastly, febrile seizures rarely cause any lasting damage, other than scaring parents to death. I find it questionable whether children should routinely be medicated at the first sign of fever just to prevent them.

Again, I know you said you just had a bad day. But I also think all ER workers should remember that patients can and will vote with their feet based on word of mouth about ER experiences.

Hmmm....this thread actually went 7 days before the "first one"....lol.

I am impressed.

Well this ER worker hopes word of mouth prevails in the circles of the types we are venting about!

~making a cross with my two index fingers~ STAY AWAY!!