Pt's C/O in the ER (funny) - page 9

What are some funny C/O people have had coming into your triage area? Misspelled words too... We had a lady come in the other night because she ate raw chicken -Claimed she didn't know it was... Read More

  1. by   grammyr
    Or the mother who brings her child in at 2am with a temp of 102.8. Asked her when she took her temp last and her reply was "I don't have a thermometer, I just knew it was that high by touching. God I wish I was that good!
  2. by   JWaldron
    Quote from mommatrauma
    We've heard some good ones...

    my Virginia smells...(Vagina)

    I'm bleeding heavy and there were blood clogs (clots)

    I have wheat legs (weak) <-written on c/o card

    spiny metal jesus (spinal meningitis)

    ackdominal pain
    fell out
    vomicking...we're convinced this is the phenomenon when it comes out both your mouth and nose...

    Are you having diarrhea? Yes. How many episodes? Just one yesterday...

    ...here's your sign...
    or my favorite, "Fireballs of the Eucharist" (fibroids of the uterus)
  3. by   MrsWampthang
    Quote from RNin92
    isn't it comforting to know that...
    coast to coast...
    nation to nation...
    we are joined together by one undenieable(sp) truth...






    stupid people live everywhere!
    and they procreate!!!

    ahhhhh...it sure does make a busy shift go by a lot funnier though!!!
    Aaaahhhhh ain't it the truth? Ain't it the truth!!!!!!!

    Pam
  4. by   LPNer
    Quote from NativeTexan
    Oh, and one of my favorites from 7 or 8 years ago was the guy who drank the Vicks for the vaporizer, instead of the Vicks cough syrup. That was a fun lavage. Everyone's nose was running, and that room smelled of menthol for a week.
    Wish I had beent here, might have given me some relief! LOL
  5. by   bissie
    Drank roach poison after wife put it in a coke bottle...on discharge instructions the PA wrote,"label all containers". The pt said,"it was labeled...it said Coke"
  6. by   erjulie
    OMG- anthrax. I could have distributed some of the same to the freaking media over that one...people who live in little tiny towns in northern Illinois and NEVER GO ANYWHERE probably haven't been exposed to anthrax especialy since they actually haven't left their house...
    can't wait til bird flu comes around...
  7. by   Brigid
    Quote from kmchugh
    I have seen this twice: First, make a mental picture of any roughly phallic shaped and sized object (PSSO), which you would never see in a shower. Got it? OK. The story always begins:

    "I was in the shower with (your PSSO here), when I slipped! I landed sitting down, and guess where the PSSO went?"

    And now you need a trip to the OR to get it out, have a nice night.

    KM
    I have seen similar too in the UK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    A/E (UK accident & emergency)
    Same senaro!! guys quote same as yours both times - different guys.
    One item was a shaving brush and the other - Iv'e always wondered about - was non other than a large ripe orange???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Female....................A gooey greeney sluggy coated pill bottle???!!!!!! Phew...phew...Gag...Gag.....Go to lab.....No growth!!!!
  8. by   nickola
    Quote from border rn
    That is fabulous I so want to work in the ER
    a guy came in the middle of the night to the ED, told me he awoke & a cockroach had crawled into his penis. He said "I killed it w/this Q-tip though-- I know I did 'cuz I peed it out!" (he proceeded to pull the dirty ragged Q-tip out of his shirt pocket!) His penis was red, swollen about 3 times its size & oozing pus.....some cock roach............
  9. by   nickola
    Oh I love this one!!!! Esp. your dx!! I'm lol here!!


    Quote from zudy
    Sorry,Nursebedlam, got you beat,abd pain "for 6 years now."
    She came in during the Super Bowl "coz I knew you people wouldn't be busy now,and I don't care anything about football."
    Our ER doc says"Guess what? I don't care anything about abd pain."

    dx: PID

    my dx: PID w/ mets to the brain
  10. by   nickola
    When you ask mom, "did you give any Tylenol?" & she says "didn't have any...." okay, easier to drive to the ER at 2 a.m. than the convenience store....and apparently no bath-tub at home??? puleeze!


    Quote from grammyr
    Or the mother who brings her child in at 2am with a temp of 102.8. Asked her when she took her temp last and her reply was "I don't have a thermometer, I just knew it was that high by touching. God I wish I was that good!
  11. by   nickola
    This little old lady comes into the ER late at night, some vague complaint, and as I'm talking to her in the exam room she pulls out a cigarette, sticks it in her mouth-- I said, "you can't smoke in here" she says "Oh honey, I don't smokes 'em!-- I eats 'em!!" and she sat there and chewed & swallowed the whole cigarette!!



    Quote from border rn
    That is fabulous I so want to work in the ER
  12. by   nickola
    guy came in w/an erection that he'd had for nearly 36 hrs- came in 'cuz he couldn't pee-- we're like "why'd you wait so long?!" He said "I couldn't get my girlfriend off of me!!" (this was before the days of Viagra.....)


    Quote from jackleg27
    Some of my favorites The guy who had a roach crawl in his ear so he sprayed Raid in his ear or the 18 y/o guy who "poured Peroxide on his hand and it turned white" or the couple that got "stuck together" EMS brought them in on top of one another on the stretcher.
  13. by   nickola
    One wkend I was working ER & the ambulance brought in a group of teenagers who'd been riding in the back of a pick-up coming home from the beach & were thrown out of the truck when they hit another vehicle. As we were cutting the bathing suit off this one chick on the backboard, she says "HEY! I paid 50 bucks for this suit!!" the ER doc said "Should've worn something else!!" :chuckle



    Quote from sneaks55
    Oh I love this one!!!! Esp. your dx!! I'm lol here!!

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