phone calls no outsider would believe - page 9

Got a call the other night, demanding to know if a man could still have an erection when he was dead, if it happened automatically. I told him that was not something I was going to answer, he... Read More

  1. by   Justhere
    Quote from 33-weeker
    we get similar calls in nursery all the time.
    "could you come pick up brandon for the night"
    "what's brandon's last name?"
    "jones"
    "maam... we don't have a baby jones... what last name was the mom admitted under?"
    "smith"
    "maam... the baby is admitted as 'boy smith'. in the future, when you call, you'll need to refer to your baby as 'boy smith' so we will know who you are taking about."
    (what i wish i could say..."i have 6 babies to care for of the 18 total in the nursery, i do well to keep up with 'boy smith' - i cannot be on a first-name basis with all 18 babies!")

    this problem also happens too often when friends & family members call to see if a certain baby is in the nursery. after the call has been bounced a couple of times back and forth between the nursery and nicu, we finally figure out that they are asking for the wrong last name. i have gotten to the point i just go ahead & ask up front, "is that mom's last name?" since married couples are the minority these days - at least at our hospital.

    we also have fathers who get flat out angry when we write mom's maiden name on the crib card - some ranting to the point you can't get a word in edgewise to explain that whatever name mom is admitted under is the name the baby will go by for this admission only.

    i finally have gotten to the point, when dealing with a dad that is being ridiculous about it, that i say,
    "do you want your baby to be sent home with the wrong parents?"

    "of course not!" he bellows - but now i have his attention

    "well then, the baby's name and mom's need to match so that we can keep them paired up, and not get any babies mixed up when we send them home... you will sign papers for the birth certificate before your baby goes home. you can choose the child's legal name then. this is just temporary."
    they usually settle down at that point.

    (what i wish i could say is "if you want the baby to have your name, then you should have married the mom!!!!!")
    do we work in the same hospital? (wish i could say "if you want the baby to have your name don't have sex until you marry the mom!!!!!)

    we get calls into the nursery like

    caller: yes my baby won't sleep through the night can i give her something?
    me: no.
    caller: but when will she start sleeping through the night.
    me: sometime between now and hopefully by the time they are two, if by then. how old is your baby?
    caller: two weeks.
    me: ma'am your baby is too young to sleep through the night at this time, she needs to wake up and feed.
    caller: ok thanks, i'm just so sleepy.
  2. by   twotrees2
    Quote from cotjockey
    Caller: Hi...is there any nurses there? I have a question. (Nope...no nurses here...I'm a patient and the phone woke me up, so I answered it.)

    Sure...I'm a nurse.

    Caller: Oh...I didn't know if there was someone there at night or if the patients just called someone if they needed something.

    We're here 24/7...what is your question?

    Caller: Well, you know those home pregnant tests? My friend bougt one because she got drunk and got laid and when I made a wet on that stick, the little pop up message said, "pregnant." Now does that mean my friend is gonna have a baby?

    Are you trying to find out if you are pregnant or is your friend trying to find out if she is pregnant?

    Caller: Oh...well, it's my friend...she made a wet on that stick.

    Oh, OK. Usually if the test window says pregnant, whoever used the test is pregnant. The chances of a false postive are very slim.

    Caller: So, she might not be pregnant?

    That is always possible, but unlikely. If she isn't sure, she needs to make an appointment with her doctor. Who is her doctor? (I only asked because we had one doctor who didn't want us telling his pregnant patients anything...he wanted to give any telephone advice, etc).

    Caller: I go to Dr. _____.

    But, who does your friend see?

    Caller: Oh, yeah...she sees him too.

    Well...the best advice I can give your friend is to schedule an appointment...his office opens at 8:30...do you need his phone number?

    Caller: No...I have an appointment tomorrow. I just wanted to know if she is pregnant or not.

    OK...call if you have anymore questions or concerns.

    Caller: I will...what is the phone number for the hospital?

    hahaha whats the ohone numbeer. hehehe. however - if you are like us - our number is almost exact to hospital - we have 745 - they are 748 - and last 4 are same - we often get calls fielded to our number by accident - lol
  3. by   canoehead
    Quote from NREMT-P/RN
    ME: "Really. But all worm emergency aside - your nephew and maybe others in the family will need to see your doctor for de-worming as soon as possible - call first thing in the morning. But, you can come to the ER....yak, yak yak - standard answer ".
    Really...they don't have to actually come in for deworming treatments until they start dragging their bums across the carpet. As an ER nurse you should KNOW that.:trout:
  4. by   twotrees2
    Quote from babes690
    i have recently qualified, i was working on the gynaecology ward (therefore it only had female patients!!!!) at our hospital as a student (it was my last one of four nights) and at 3am a young lady rung up and said: can i ask you how my mum is?

    i had been at work for 6 hours and wanted to go to bed when this happened i managed to ask the woman who her mum was with out getting mad. it annoyed me that she thought we should know her voice over the phone and would give her information just on that basis.

    oh yeah - those ones are great - and all to frequent at LTC - hello- we have 90 residnets here can you give me a name- or they will want to talk to the nurse of the patient in room 111 and honeslty - i dont do rooms lol - i have toask a name and then i will know who has them ( yes lol maybe i shold know exact rooms but heck- its hard enough remebering names of 90 residents especially if they were just admitted. )
  5. by   twotrees2
    Quote from MS._Jen_RN
    I'm not in the ER but, people do that to us all the time!
    Me:" Hello . . .. ."
    Caller:"I just wanted to see if my Mom's test results were back (or the like)?"
    Me: And you Mom is. . . . . ?

    I also got this call recently.
    Me: "Hello. .. ."
    Caller:"I've been try to call so/so's room and the phone is busy."
    Me:"I just came out of her room and she was talking on the phone.
    Caller:"Oh. . .Well, could you check on her and see if she's OK?"
    Really-she's awake and talking on the phone. Wait your turn and you can talk to her too.

    You also have to love the people who call in the middle of the night and ask why their loved one is not answering the phone. Maybe they're asleep. . . .they are sick and in the hospital. Maybe they're tired of talking to you.
    ~Jen

    just had a family member ask for a resident - it was 9 pm ( they think these 80 - 100 yr olds stay up till midnight?) and they insisted i wake them so they could talk to them and make sure they were all right and could i hurry they were calling from out of state - no i can not hurry they are asleep and i will NOT wake them call back during daytime hours when they ARE awake -sheesh.
  6. by   twotrees2
    Quote from Kassahni1984
    ****... seriously! I hate the commercials anymore today. People self-diagnose too much, or they sit there(ala jeff foxworthy's wife) and think they have whatever malady this drug treats. It gets really frustrating. Just over the past couple of weeks, we have had an elderly lady come in SEVERAL times for generalized malaise but comes in and DEMANDS to see a few docs who are not even on call. Just a totally frustrating situation... People

    i put part of that onto the drug companies - making prescriptions over the counter from yeast infection creams to reflux meds though they say take only for few days and call doc i have sen way many take stuff forever then when it wasnt that issue complain cause now they have a full blown pelvic infection etc. yet we cant even buy sudafed otc anymore- go figure lol.
  7. by   Avelinne
    When I was a med sec in the ED a young woman called about her week old baby. The med sec, in those days
    (1980), would take the info down and then pass the info down to the nurse.

    Caller: I'm calling cause my baby has a temperature.

    Me: How high is your babys temp?

    Caller(or should I say dumb%&*) says:
    I don't know, the baby won't keep the thermometer in her mouth................
    Needless to say I was rendered speechless. Maybe they do need to issue licenses for people before they procreate.
  8. by   twotrees2
    Quote from 33-weeker
    we get similar calls in nursery all the time.
    "could you come pick up brandon for the night"
    "what's brandon's last name?"
    "jones"
    "maam... we don't have a baby jones... what last name was the mom admitted under?"
    "smith"
    "maam... the baby is admitted as 'boy smith'. in the future, when you call, you'll need to refer to your baby as 'boy smith' so we will know who you are taking about."
    (what i wish i could say..."i have 6 babies to care for of the 18 total in the nursery, i do well to keep up with 'boy smith' - i cannot be on a first-name basis with all 18 babies!")

    this problem also happens too often when friends & family members call to see if a certain baby is in the nursery. after the call has been bounced a couple of times back and forth between the nursery and nicu, we finally figure out that they are asking for the wrong last name. i have gotten to the point i just go ahead & ask up front, "is that mom's last name?" since married couples are the minority these days - at least at our hospital.

    we also have fathers who get flat out angry when we write mom's maiden name on the crib card - some ranting to the point you can't get a word in edgewise to explain that whatever name mom is admitted under is the name the baby will go by for this admission only.

    i finally have gotten to the point, when dealing with a dad that is being ridiculous about it, that i say,
    "do you want your baby to be sent home with the wrong parents?"

    "of course not!" he bellows - but now i have his attention

    "well then, the baby's name and mom's need to match so that we can keep them paired up, and not get any babies mixed up when we send them home... you will sign papers for the birth certificate before your baby goes home. you can choose the child's legal name then. this is just temporary."
    they usually settle down at that point.

    (what i wish i could say is "if you want the baby to have your name, then you should have married the mom!!!!!")

    actually unless laws have changed - and they could have - the babies name is what mom ppts down not what dad puts down on a single parent baby - and i do believe on a married person with someone elses baby if they are still married then it is the moms name not the dads also- i could be wrong here but thats what i recall - my ex ( we werent married at the time of our first) was super pissed when i put down my last name.
  9. by   dragonflyRN
    3 children, 2 different father's, all my last name. After a 8 year relationship, left on my own. Priceless.
  10. by   SweetieRN
    We had a call from a pregnant woman wanting to know if her baby would drown if she took a tub bath?
  11. by   tvccrn
    Quote from SweetieRN
    We had a call from a pregnant woman wanting to know if her baby would drown if she took a tub bath?
    This could be in response to an old wives' tale. According to it, you can't tub bathe or swim without the possiblity of drowning the baby.

    tvccrn
  12. by   SweetieRN
    Quote from tvccrn
    This could be in response to an old wives' tale. According to it, you can't tub bathe or swim without the possiblity of drowning the baby.

    tvccrn
    Must be from the same book that you will tie a knot in the umbilical cord if you reach up over your head while pregnant!:spin:
  13. by   tvccrn
    Quote from SweetieRN
    Must be from the same book that you will tie a knot in the umbilical cord if you reach up over your head while pregnant!:spin:
    Hey, you read that one too!!!

    tvccrn

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