Last patient of the night

  1. Older woman comes to my ER, brought by son, I am in triage.

    She is older, heavier and smellier than most of my patients this night. Son looks like an enforcer from a biker gang.

    Complains of "sufferin' "all da time"

    I ask about her meds "I take all kinds at home"

    Yes, but did you bring them here?

    "Oh no honey"

    Take her to a bed and assist into gown. Discover colostomy.

    "Why do you have that" I ask

    "Oh my son did that to me" she replies.

    Hmmmmm, maybe her son IS an enforcer for a biker gang.

    Day shift arrived, I am outta there.
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  2. 8 Comments

  3. by   veetach
    Her son did it to her????? OMG!!
  4. by   kids
    I'm all for blaming my kids for my grey hairs but think that is pushing it just a bit
  5. by   traumaRUs
    Too funny and don't I know it - all too true!
  6. by   Rapheal
    Her son did that to her? :uhoh21: Don't you just love passing on your special patients to the next shift.
  7. by   Dixielee
    This reminds me of an elderly lady I was triaging a few months ago. She was having some minor complaint and could not tell me anything about herself so I was fishing. I asked the usual questions, do you have diabetes, high BP, heart trouble? She said she used to have heart trouble but they took her heart out and she was OK now. Upon investigation....she had a CABG a few years ago, so when they "bypassed" her heart, she thought they had removed it, voila, no more heart problems. I didn't have the heart to tell her the truth, I just tried to not smile too much. You just gotta love this job!
  8. by   nightingale
    quote:

    Complains of "sufferin' "all da time"

    I ask about her meds "I take all kinds at home"

    Yes, but did you bring them here?

    "Oh no honey"

    Take her to a bed and assist into gown. Discover colostomy.

    "Why do you have that" I ask

    "Oh my son did that to me" she replies.

    Hmmmmm, maybe her son IS an enforcer for a biker gang.

    Day shift arrived, I am outta there.

    ------quote:

    She said she used to have heart trouble but they took her heart out and she was OK now. Upon investigation....she had a CABG a few years ago, so when they "bypassed" her heart, she thought they had removed it, voila, no more heart problems. I didn't have the heart to tell her the truth, I just tried to not smile too much. You just gotta love this job!


    That is so funny, ya gotta love em!
  9. by   Audreyfay
    Maybe her son was a surgeon? (Course, I think it is illegal to operate on a family member?) Or, maybe she developed a perforated colon when she was pregnant. Maybe she developed adhesions after the pregnancy with her son. Maybe he caused her so much worry that she thinks it caused the bowel problem......
  10. by   canoehead
    I have a 65 year old woman tonight. When she was 25 the docs removed "all the organs they could get at" from her abdomen. She's surprisingly healthy looking.

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