i found this on http://mynursingtips.com
. thought this was way to true...
you are either dating or sleeping with a fireman, a cop, or a doctor. if not you claim to hate them because you have either a.
been cheated on by them b
. too old or ugly for anyone to date you c.
a male nurse not all of us are fat, or are cheated on by their significant others. officer o'myacin has been faithful to *this* fat, ugly er nurse for 15 years.
your greatest fear is to crash in your car on your way to work knowing you would end up at your hospital with your closed ripped off with the er pervert staring at you. i can't argue with this one. but the only er "perverts" i know don't work there. they just come visit us.
your form of birth control is all the radiation from all the x-ray techs who forget you are behind the curtain lol - our x-ray techs are quite outspoken, though there are times that you can only get so far and hope for the best.
you think everyone who comes in for pain is a drug seeker, but give them drugs anyway, complaining to yourself about it and everyone who will listen
are you refering to threads where we anonymously vent about not sick people taking time away from sick people who are in need of an already stretched thin staff? besides, one person's perception of pain is their own, drug addicts get appendicitis too, and trust me, i'm way to busy to gossip about the patient i have in bed 18b wanting more of the d-d--d-'diloudtim'
the words "the waiting room looks empty" will cause an emergency to happen "immediately" more like we decide to get something to eat or use the restroom. the waiting room being empty usually means that we are full on the inside. someone caught up might relieve the triage nurse for awhile though.
you are angry for no reason, have no form of emotion and tell the grossest stories and jokes without blinking an eye so did you stop to think that "gallows humor" is a coping mechanism because it doesn't do anyone any good to melt down when the you-know-what hits the fan. and how could you be angry and yet have no emotion? have you ever gone right from coding a kid who doesn't make it to a person who calls 911 for an upper respiratory infection and is spitting phelgm on the floor because she's angry that you didn't come in to bring her a ginger ale? i think that's a good reason to be angry, but i smile and say "i'll bring you the gingerale when i can, or you can get one out of the refridgerator over there". and then the patient writes an angry press gainey. not the parents of the child who died. the one with a cold.
you wait for the "super nurse" who thinks they know everything to do something dumb. you mean the one who makes unfair assumptions based on outward appearances?
you think it is funny to drink applejuice out of a urine cup doesn't everyone?
you give special nursing dosing for "special patients" who are a little to awake for your taste you mean the one thrashing around who just pulled out their cvc line that had levophed infusing? besides, i just four point them. face down. (if you think i'm serious, then you are the one who needs help, but that's just my inappropriate sense of humor coming out once again). anxious, agitated patients who interfere with their treatment, posing a danger to themselves, get a benzo or some haldol. it is ordered by a physician who deems it necessary. no nurse i know is willing to risk a criminal charge because a patient is "special".
you know that most of the drug seekers are the nurses you work with, not the patients what??? we are drug addicts as well as poorly programmed, disgusting robots? next thing, you are going to tell me that we purposely dump all our admits at 1830.
every time you claim to be good at iv's or good at pediatric iv's, you miss, the ropes, huge enough for an 16 gage. so you were on a receiving end of someone having a bad day. we all have days where we can't hit the broad side of a barn, and days where we get that pedi stick on the first try. we are human.
you laugh at inservices on sterile technique, knowing very well you have bit off needle tops and inserted foley catheters into every hole without getting a new one. um no. are you speaking from direct observation? did someone stick a foley in your rectum and then your urethra? and try holding pressure on an arterial bleed and opening a needle cap. i've never done it, but i can envision a situation where i might have to.
you work night shift just to avoid working with the day shift crew and vice versa so is that different from the floor how?
you find yourself having "liquid breakfast" at the bar when you get off your shift in the morning. you've never had a drink when you've ended a shift? night shifter's 0730 is the same thing as a day shifters 1930.
your sense of humor seems to get more "warped" each year. i was warped when i took the job. i'm just in good company now.
you find yourself laughing with co workers during codes and you don't know how you became so emotionless. laughing is an emotion. sometimes something silly happens and we give a giggle to let off some steam.
you don't care when your co-workers hate you because "it wouldn't be an er" if everyone was nice so even our co-workers hate us? if we didn't stick together then the hatred of the er nurse would be unanimous, wouldn't it?
you have a strong dislike for icu nurses and vice versa and you do not know why icu nurses are smart and patient. we patch them up and make them stable for transfer. they do the rest. misunderstandings are bound to happen, but for the most part, a sense of mutual respect and "thank god i don't do that job" exists.
you've told a confused patient your name was that of your coworker and to holler if they need help. and you never gave someone a fake phone number? mostly, we give confused patients some towels to fold, a snack and the call light.
almost everything can seem humorous ... eventually. like your anger at er nurses couched in a humorous list?
when checking the level of orientation of a patient, you aren't sure of the answer, and you don't care. yeah, we don't care about ischemic stroke windows, cranial bleeds, hypoxia and sepsis. we hate humanity which is why we work in the er. we get it.
your techs get angry or hide when you ask them for help with anything that involve urine, crap or helping. i've never worked with a tech like that. they make it possible for us to do our jobs.
you constantly think about the one day you will be that old lady in the bed who can't move and you get really scared. i would be too if i had to go to the er that you are describing.
you find vilals, syringes, needles, tape and pens in your dryer. nah - i find them in my pockets.
you find yourself loving scrubs, because no one can tell how fat you are getting. some er nurses actually work out so we can help pick people off the floor and drag dead ones out of the passenger seats of their cars. we wear scrubs because they are comfortable and can get all sorts of bodily fluids on them. and everyone looks fat in them.