Joke..You know you are truly an ER nurse if...

  1. 25
    I found this on http://mynursingtips.com. thought this was way to true...

    You are either dating or sleeping with a fireman, a cop, or a doctor. If not you claim to hate them because you have either a. been cheated on by them b. too old or ugly for anyone to date you c. a male nurse

    Your greatest fear is to crash in your car on your way to work knowing you would end up at your hospital with your closed ripped off with the ER pervert staring at you.


    Your form of birth control is all the radiation from all the x-ray techs who forget you are behind the curtain


    You think everyone who comes in for pain is a drug seeker, but give them drugs anyway, complaining to yourself about it and everyone who will listen


    The words "the waiting room looks empty" will cause an emergency to happen "immediately"


    You are angry for no reason, have no form of emotion and tell the grossest stories and jokes without blinking an eye


    You wait for the "super nurse" who thinks they know everything to do something dumb.



    You think it is funny to drink applejuice out of a urine cup


    You give special nursing dosing for "special patients" who are a little to awake for your taste


    You know that most of the drug seekers are the nurses you work with, not the patients



    Every time you claim to be good at IV's or good at pediatric IV's, you miss, the ropes, huge enough for an 16 gage.



    You laugh at inservices on sterile technique, knowing very well you have bit off needle tops and inserted Foley catheters into every hole without getting a new one.


    You work night shift just to avoid working with the day shift crew and vice versa


    You find yourself having "liquid breakfast" at the bar when you get off your shift in the morning.


    Your sense of humor seems to get more "warped" each year.

    You find yourself laughing with co workers during codes and you don't know how you became so emotionless.


    You don't care when your co-workers hate you because "it wouldn't be an ER" if everyone was nice


    You have a strong dislike for ICU nurses and vice versa and you do not know why



    You've told a confused patient your name was that of your coworker and to HOLLER if they need help.



    Almost everything can seem humorous ... eventually.


    When checking the level of orientation of a patient, you aren't sure of the answer, and you don't care.


    Your techs get angry or hide when you ask them for help with anything that involve urine, crap or helping.


    You constantly think about the one day you will be that old lady in the bed who can't move and you get really scared.


    You find vilals, syringes, needles, tape and pens in your dryer.


    You find yourself loving scrubs, because no one can tell how fat you are getting.

    :typing
    Dazglue, Gal 2:20, bluetack, and 22 others like this.
  2. 31,913 Visits
    Find Similar Topics
  3. 37 Comments so far...

  4. 6
    Your greatest fear is to crash in your car on your way to work knowing you would end up at your hospital with your closed ripped off with the ER pervert staring at you.


    :chuckle
    MassED, frenchfroggyRN, NewbieEDRN, and 3 others like this.
  5. 4
    [quote=HanaRN;2811644]I found this on http://mynursingtips.com. thought this was way to true...

    You are either dating or sleeping with a fireman, a cop, or a doctor. If not you claim to hate them because you have either a. been cheated on by them b. too old or ugly for anyone to date you c. a male nurse


    :chuckle

    Too funny and too true. Sadly a sterotype that is way too common.
  6. 0
    Quote from hanarn
    i found this on http://mynursingtips.com. thought this was way to true...

    you are either dating or sleeping with a fireman, a cop, or a doctor. if not you claim to hate them because you have either a. been cheated on by them b. too old or ugly for anyone to date you c. a male nurse not all of us are fat, or are cheated on by their significant others. officer o'myacin has been faithful to *this* fat, ugly er nurse for 15 years.

    your greatest fear is to crash in your car on your way to work knowing you would end up at your hospital with your closed ripped off with the er pervert staring at you. i can't argue with this one. but the only er "perverts" i know don't work there. they just come visit us.


    your form of birth control is all the radiation from all the x-ray techs who forget you are behind the curtain lol - our x-ray techs are quite outspoken, though there are times that you can only get so far and hope for the best.


    you think everyone who comes in for pain is a drug seeker, but give them drugs anyway, complaining to yourself about it and everyone who will listen
    are you refering to threads where we anonymously vent about not sick people taking time away from sick people who are in need of an already stretched thin staff? besides, one person's perception of pain is their own, drug addicts get appendicitis too, and trust me, i'm way to busy to gossip about the patient i have in bed 18b wanting more of the d-d--d-'diloudtim'


    the words "the waiting room looks empty" will cause an emergency to happen "immediately" more like we decide to get something to eat or use the restroom. the waiting room being empty usually means that we are full on the inside. someone caught up might relieve the triage nurse for awhile though.


    you are angry for no reason, have no form of emotion and tell the grossest stories and jokes without blinking an eye so did you stop to think that "gallows humor" is a coping mechanism because it doesn't do anyone any good to melt down when the you-know-what hits the fan. and how could you be angry and yet have no emotion? have you ever gone right from coding a kid who doesn't make it to a person who calls 911 for an upper respiratory infection and is spitting phelgm on the floor because she's angry that you didn't come in to bring her a ginger ale? i think that's a good reason to be angry, but i smile and say "i'll bring you the gingerale when i can, or you can get one out of the refridgerator over there". and then the patient writes an angry press gainey. not the parents of the child who died. the one with a cold.


    you wait for the "super nurse" who thinks they know everything to do something dumb. you mean the one who makes unfair assumptions based on outward appearances?



    you think it is funny to drink applejuice out of a urine cup doesn't everyone?


    you give special nursing dosing for "special patients" who are a little to awake for your taste you mean the one thrashing around who just pulled out their cvc line that had levophed infusing? besides, i just four point them. face down. (if you think i'm serious, then you are the one who needs help, but that's just my inappropriate sense of humor coming out once again). anxious, agitated patients who interfere with their treatment, posing a danger to themselves, get a benzo or some haldol. it is ordered by a physician who deems it necessary. no nurse i know is willing to risk a criminal charge because a patient is "special".


    you know that most of the drug seekers are the nurses you work with, not the patients what??? we are drug addicts as well as poorly programmed, disgusting robots? next thing, you are going to tell me that we purposely dump all our admits at 1830.



    every time you claim to be good at iv's or good at pediatric iv's, you miss, the ropes, huge enough for an 16 gage. so you were on a receiving end of someone having a bad day. we all have days where we can't hit the broad side of a barn, and days where we get that pedi stick on the first try. we are human.



    you laugh at inservices on sterile technique, knowing very well you have bit off needle tops and inserted foley catheters into every hole without getting a new one. um no. are you speaking from direct observation? did someone stick a foley in your rectum and then your urethra? and try holding pressure on an arterial bleed and opening a needle cap. i've never done it, but i can envision a situation where i might have to.


    you work night shift just to avoid working with the day shift crew and vice versa so is that different from the floor how?


    you find yourself having "liquid breakfast" at the bar when you get off your shift in the morning. you've never had a drink when you've ended a shift? night shifter's 0730 is the same thing as a day shifters 1930.


    your sense of humor seems to get more "warped" each year. i was warped when i took the job. i'm just in good company now.

    you find yourself laughing with co workers during codes and you don't know how you became so emotionless. laughing is an emotion. sometimes something silly happens and we give a giggle to let off some steam.


    you don't care when your co-workers hate you because "it wouldn't be an er" if everyone was nice so even our co-workers hate us? if we didn't stick together then the hatred of the er nurse would be unanimous, wouldn't it?


    you have a strong dislike for icu nurses and vice versa and you do not know why icu nurses are smart and patient. we patch them up and make them stable for transfer. they do the rest. misunderstandings are bound to happen, but for the most part, a sense of mutual respect and "thank god i don't do that job" exists.



    you've told a confused patient your name was that of your coworker and to holler if they need help. and you never gave someone a fake phone number? mostly, we give confused patients some towels to fold, a snack and the call light.



    almost everything can seem humorous ... eventually. like your anger at er nurses couched in a humorous list?


    when checking the level of orientation of a patient, you aren't sure of the answer, and you don't care. yeah, we don't care about ischemic stroke windows, cranial bleeds, hypoxia and sepsis. we hate humanity which is why we work in the er. we get it.


    your techs get angry or hide when you ask them for help with anything that involve urine, crap or helping. i've never worked with a tech like that. they make it possible for us to do our jobs.


    you constantly think about the one day you will be that old lady in the bed who can't move and you get really scared. i would be too if i had to go to the er that you are describing.


    you find vilals, syringes, needles, tape and pens in your dryer. nah - i find them in my pockets.


    you find yourself loving scrubs, because no one can tell how fat you are getting. some er nurses actually work out so we can help pick people off the floor and drag dead ones out of the passenger seats of their cars. we wear scrubs because they are comfortable and can get all sorts of bodily fluids on them. and everyone looks fat in them.

    :typing
    what happened to you? your feelings towards the er nurses and techs are quite negative. couching it in humor is troubling because this post has real teeth and fits in with all the countless er bashing posts.

    wow. are you a nurse? a patient who didn't get the care they felt they deserved? both? i'm curious.

    blee
  7. 0
    Quote from HanaRN
    I found this on http://mynursingtips.com. thought this was way to true...

    You are either dating or sleeping with a fireman, a cop, or a doctor. If not you claim to hate them because you have either a. been cheated on by them b. too old or ugly for anyone to date you c. a male nurse

    Your greatest fear is to crash in your car on your way to work knowing you would end up at your hospital with your closed ripped off with the ER pervert staring at you.


    Your form of birth control is all the radiation from all the x-ray techs who forget you are behind the curtain


    You think everyone who comes in for pain is a drug seeker, but give them drugs anyway, complaining to yourself about it and everyone who will listen


    The words "the waiting room looks empty" will cause an emergency to happen "immediately"


    You are angry for no reason, have no form of emotion and tell the grossest stories and jokes without blinking an eye


    You wait for the "super nurse" who thinks they know everything to do something dumb.



    You think it is funny to drink applejuice out of a urine cup


    You give special nursing dosing for "special patients" who are a little to awake for your taste


    You know that most of the drug seekers are the nurses you work with, not the patients



    Every time you claim to be good at IV's or good at pediatric IV's, you miss, the ropes, huge enough for an 16 gage.



    You laugh at inservices on sterile technique, knowing very well you have bit off needle tops and inserted Foley catheters into every hole without getting a new one.


    You work night shift just to avoid working with the day shift crew and vice versa


    You find yourself having "liquid breakfast" at the bar when you get off your shift in the morning.


    Your sense of humor seems to get more "warped" each year.

    You find yourself laughing with co workers during codes and you don't know how you became so emotionless.


    You don't care when your co-workers hate you because "it wouldn't be an ER" if everyone was nice


    You have a strong dislike for ICU nurses and vice versa and you do not know why



    You've told a confused patient your name was that of your coworker and to HOLLER if they need help.



    Almost everything can seem humorous ... eventually.


    When checking the level of orientation of a patient, you aren't sure of the answer, and you don't care.


    Your techs get angry or hide when you ask them for help with anything that involve urine, crap or helping.


    You constantly think about the one day you will be that old lady in the bed who can't move and you get really scared.


    You find vilals, syringes, needles, tape and pens in your dryer.


    You find yourself loving scrubs, because no one can tell how fat you are getting.

    :typing
    hanaRN..loved it, laughed, then read some other posts... yikes.., honey.
    you rock...it was funny. pedies, er, n whatnot now...dunno if its the "power" of the internet...(you know what I mean).
    anyway...er/ed whatever whomever (see, I am trying to be politically correct here)....its supposed to be funny...take a breath n get a grip.
    love ya hana...course I also loved driving home @ 3am by the ocean...go figure ;->
  8. 11
    Quote from blee o'myacin
    what happened to you? your feelings towards the er nurses and techs are quite negative. couching it in humor is troubling because this post has real teeth and fits in with all the countless er bashing posts.

    wow. are you a nurse? a patient who didn't get the care they felt they deserved? both? i'm curious.

    blee
    um, i think that the original poster pasted this from another website, and it was meant to be humorous, not taken personally by you... some parts are funnier than others, but in general i don't think it was meant to be a complete slam against er nurses.
    jncRN, navynurse06, Nefertari1279, and 8 others like this.
  9. 4
    Quote from annienc
    hanaRN..loved it, laughed, then read some other posts... yikes.., honey.
    you rock...it was funny. pedies, er, n whatnot now...dunno if its the "power" of the internet...(you know what I mean).
    anyway...er/ed whatever whomever (see, I am trying to be politically correct here)....its supposed to be funny...take a breath n get a grip.
    love ya hana...course I also loved driving home @ 3am by the ocean...go figure ;->
    HanaRN - I have to agree with annienc on this thread! My hubbie and I are both RN's and have worked a lot of time in the ER. I have 17 yrs. exp. and he has more than 20. We were reading your posting and laughed until we almost peed, jokingly, of course.

    I might be totally off base here, but I think that a lot of time, ER nurses have a "wacky" sense of humor, and I don't think it's burn out. Everyone has to be able to find some kind of humor in their work to not go nuts, or postal, especially in our jobs. I don't mean in the least to be offensive to the poster that was apparently offended by the jokes, but I would rather work with the type of nurse that can find humor in their day while taking care of MVCs, codes, stabbings, GSWs, nursing home patients for enema to clear that haven't pooped in 2 weeks, and the other things we see. I would also definetly rather have this type of nurse taking care of me in the ER when I am in there as a patient instead of the nurse who doesn't crack a smile in the whole 12 plus hours they are there.

    Just my opinion, but I wanted to throw it in there.

    Anne, RNC
  10. 0
    Hilarious....
  11. 7
    okay, seriously in response to Annienc, for the record it was found in the medical jokes area on mynursingtips.com I did not write it but found it incredibly true. I have been an ER/trauma RN for about 15 years in Los Angeles and Orange County and have seen all of these and many many worse. I can find the humor in it probably because..well the observations are true!! Okay non sterile technique should not be funny but lets be realistic, every ER I have worked in there is not that much of a difference. I could probably add a couple more observations I have seen at multitudes of different hospitals..and no I will not say what hospitals these are for obvious reasons.

    Nurses stealing drugs from Pyxis and patients
    Nurses ending up as traumas obviously ETOH or drugs (no BA or drug test done on them)
    Nurses laughing about being high while they are at work (many many times)
    ER docs picking up on patients and getting their number on duty
    Trauma surgeons coming in high and drunk while being called in
    Being asked to cover up medical mistakes by management
    Nurses laughing behind patients backs because they are overweight, can't speak, homeless you name it
    Sterile technique - I have seen people do things that make me scared to be a patient.

    Do I do these things.No.Would I admit it if I did..No Have I seen these things ..yes ..Have I reported these things..A couple and truthfully nothing happened.I think they are illegal, unprofessional and
    unsanitary but it happens every day in ERs everywhere and well sorry if you were offended but I still wouldn't trade my job for the world.
    mcknis, Gal 2:20, navynurse06, and 4 others like this.
  12. 0
    Quote from HanaRN
    okay, seriously in response to Annienc, for the record it was found in the medical jokes area on mynursingtips.com I did not write it but found it incredibly true. I have been an ER/trauma RN for about 15 years in Los Angeles and Orange County and have seen all of these and many many worse. I can find the humor in it probably because..well the observations are true!! Okay non sterile technique should not be funny but lets be realistic, every ER I have worked in there is not that much of a difference. I could probably add a couple more observations I have seen at multitudes of different hospitals..and no I will not say what hospitals these are for obvious reasons.

    Nurses stealing drugs from Pyxis and patients
    Nurses ending up as traumas obviously ETOH or drugs (no BA or drug test done on them)
    Nurses laughing about being high while they are at work (many many times)
    ER docs picking up on patients and getting their number on duty
    Trauma surgeons coming in high and drunk while being called in
    Being asked to cover up medical mistakes by management
    Nurses laughing behind patients backs because they are overweight, can't speak, homeless you name it
    Sterile technique - I have seen people do things that make me scared to be a patient.

    Do I do these things.No.Would I admit it if I did..No Have I seen these things ..yes ..Have I reported these things..A couple and truthfully nothing happened.I think they are illegal, unprofessional and
    unsanitary but it happens every day in ERs everywhere and well sorry if you were offended but I still wouldn't trade my job for the world.

    HanaRN Hey - you are so right. On one shift, while working nights in a BUSY ER, and have actually seen a combo of some of those you last posted. Had 2 traumas that needed a trauma surgeon ASAP and 2 came in , 1 drunk as a skunk and had been FLYING IS SINGLE ENGINE PLANE drunk when he was paged. The other doc was high as heck on several pharmaceutical agents, and hit on me just before he passed out AT THE ER desk!!! We had to code him as well as the 2 original patients!

    But I LOVED your first posting with the jokes. The hubbie and I are still laughing today! Keep it up!

    Anne


Top