Joke..You know you are truly an ER nurse if...

  1. Thought this was way to true...

    You are either dating or sleeping with a fireman, a cop, or a doctor. If not you claim to hate them because you have either a. been cheated on by them b. too old or ugly for anyone to date you c. a male nurse

    Your greatest fear is to crash in your car on your way to work knowing you would end up at your hospital with your closed ripped off with the ER pervert staring at you.

    Your form of birth control is all the radiation from all the x-ray techs who forget you are behind the curtain

    You think everyone who comes in for pain is a drug seeker, but give them drugs anyway, complaining to yourself about it and everyone who will listen

    The words "the waiting room looks empty" will cause an emergency to happen "immediately"

    You are angry for no reason, have no form of emotion and tell the grossest stories and jokes without blinking an eye

    You wait for the "super nurse" who thinks they know everything to do something dumb.

    You think it is funny to drink applejuice out of a urine cup

    You give special nursing dosing for "special patients" who are a little to awake for your taste

    You know that most of the drug seekers are the nurses you work with, not the patients

    Every time you claim to be good at IV's or good at pediatric IV's, you miss, the ropes, huge enough for an 16 gage.

    You laugh at inservices on sterile technique, knowing very well you have bit off needle tops and inserted Foley catheters into every hole without getting a new one.

    You work night shift just to avoid working with the day shift crew and vice versa

    You find yourself having "liquid breakfast" at the bar when you get off your shift in the morning.

    Your sense of humor seems to get more "warped" each year.

    You find yourself laughing with co workers during codes and you don't know how you became so emotionless.

    You don't care when your co-workers hate you because "it wouldn't be an ER" if everyone was nice

    You have a strong dislike for ICU nurses and vice versa and you do not know why

    You've told a confused patient your name was that of your coworker and to HOLLER if they need help.

    Almost everything can seem humorous ... eventually.

    When checking the level of orientation of a patient, you aren't sure of the answer, and you don't care.

    Your techs get angry or hide when you ask them for help with anything that involve urine, crap or helping.

    You constantly think about the one day you will be that old lady in the bed who can't move and you get really scared.

    You find vilals, syringes, needles, tape and pens in your dryer.

    You find yourself loving scrubs, because no one can tell how fat you are getting.

    (I found this on mynursingtips.com.)
    Last edit by Joe V on Jan 6, '17
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  2. 36 Comments

  3. by   YellowFinchFan
    Your greatest fear is to crash in your car on your way to work knowing you would end up at your hospital with your closed ripped off with the ER pervert staring at you.


    :chuckle
  4. by   patrice meursault
    Quote from HanaRN
    Thought this was way to true...

    You are either dating or sleeping with a fireman, a cop, or a doctor. If not you claim to hate them because you have either a. been cheated on by them b. too old or ugly for anyone to date you c. a male nurse
    :chuckle

    Too funny and too true. Sadly a stereotype that is way too common.
    Last edit by Joe V on Jan 6, '17
  5. by   Blee O'Myacin
    what happened to you? your feelings towards the er nurses and techs are quite negative. couching it in humor is troubling because this post has real teeth and fits in with all the countless er bashing posts.

    wow. are you a nurse? a patient who didn't get the care they felt they deserved? both? i'm curious.

    blee
    Last edit by Joe V on Jan 6, '17
  6. by   saltwaterstat
    hanaRN..loved it, laughed, then read some other posts... yikes.., honey.
    you rock...it was funny. pedies, er, n whatnot now...dunno if its the "power" of the internet...(you know what I mean).

    anyway...er/ed whatever whomever (see, I am trying to be politically correct here)....its supposed to be funny...take a breath n get a grip.
    love ya hana...course I also loved driving home @ 3am by the ocean...go figure ;-
    Last edit by Joe V on Jan 6, '17
  7. by   alkaleidi
    Quote from blee o'myacin
    what happened to you? your feelings towards the er nurses and techs are quite negative. couching it in humor is troubling because this post has real teeth and fits in with all the countless er bashing posts.

    wow. are you a nurse? a patient who didn't get the care they felt they deserved? both? i'm curious.

    blee
    um, i think that the original poster pasted this from another website, and it was meant to be humorous, not taken personally by you... some parts are funnier than others, but in general i don't think it was meant to be a complete slam against er nurses.
  8. by   sissiesmama
    Quote from annienc
    hanaRN..loved it, laughed, then read some other posts... yikes.., honey.
    you rock...it was funny. pedies, er, n whatnot now...dunno if its the "power" of the internet...(you know what I mean).
    anyway...er/ed whatever whomever (see, I am trying to be politically correct here)....its supposed to be funny...take a breath n get a grip.
    love ya hana...course I also loved driving home @ 3am by the ocean...go figure ;->
    HanaRN - I have to agree with annienc on this thread! My hubbie and I are both RN's and have worked a lot of time in the ER. I have 17 yrs. exp. and he has more than 20. We were reading your posting and laughed until we almost peed, jokingly, of course.

    I might be totally off base here, but I think that a lot of time, ER nurses have a "wacky" sense of humor, and I don't think it's burn out. Everyone has to be able to find some kind of humor in their work to not go nuts, or postal, especially in our jobs. I don't mean in the least to be offensive to the poster that was apparently offended by the jokes, but I would rather work with the type of nurse that can find humor in their day while taking care of MVCs, codes, stabbings, GSWs, nursing home patients for enema to clear that haven't pooped in 2 weeks, and the other things we see. I would also definetly rather have this type of nurse taking care of me in the ER when I am in there as a patient instead of the nurse who doesn't crack a smile in the whole 12 plus hours they are there.

    Just my opinion, but I wanted to throw it in there.

    Anne, RNC
  9. by   richardjboro1
    Hilarious....
  10. by   HanaRN
    okay, seriously in response to Annienc, for the record it was found in the medical jokes area on mynursingtips.com I did not write it but found it incredibly true. I have been an ER/trauma RN for about 15 years in Los Angeles and Orange County and have seen all of these and many many worse. I can find the humor in it probably because..well the observations are true!! Okay non sterile technique should not be funny but lets be realistic, every ER I have worked in there is not that much of a difference. I could probably add a couple more observations I have seen at multitudes of different hospitals..and no I will not say what hospitals these are for obvious reasons.

    Nurses stealing drugs from Pyxis and patients
    Nurses ending up as traumas obviously ETOH or drugs (no BA or drug test done on them)
    Nurses laughing about being high while they are at work (many many times)
    ER docs picking up on patients and getting their number on duty
    Trauma surgeons coming in high and drunk while being called in
    Being asked to cover up medical mistakes by management
    Nurses laughing behind patients backs because they are overweight, can't speak, homeless you name it
    Sterile technique - I have seen people do things that make me scared to be a patient.

    Do I do these things.No.Would I admit it if I did..No Have I seen these things ..yes ..Have I reported these things..A couple and truthfully nothing happened.I think they are illegal, unprofessional and
    unsanitary but it happens every day in ERs everywhere and well sorry if you were offended but I still wouldn't trade my job for the world.
  11. by   sissiesmama
    Quote from HanaRN
    okay, seriously in response to Annienc, for the record it was found in the medical jokes area on mynursingtips.com I did not write it but found it incredibly true. I have been an ER/trauma RN for about 15 years in Los Angeles and Orange County and have seen all of these and many many worse. I can find the humor in it probably because..well the observations are true!! Okay non sterile technique should not be funny but lets be realistic, every ER I have worked in there is not that much of a difference. I could probably add a couple more observations I have seen at multitudes of different hospitals..and no I will not say what hospitals these are for obvious reasons.

    Nurses stealing drugs from Pyxis and patients
    Nurses ending up as traumas obviously ETOH or drugs (no BA or drug test done on them)
    Nurses laughing about being high while they are at work (many many times)
    ER docs picking up on patients and getting their number on duty
    Trauma surgeons coming in high and drunk while being called in
    Being asked to cover up medical mistakes by management
    Nurses laughing behind patients backs because they are overweight, can't speak, homeless you name it
    Sterile technique - I have seen people do things that make me scared to be a patient.

    Do I do these things.No.Would I admit it if I did..No Have I seen these things ..yes ..Have I reported these things..A couple and truthfully nothing happened.I think they are illegal, unprofessional and
    unsanitary but it happens every day in ERs everywhere and well sorry if you were offended but I still wouldn't trade my job for the world.

    HanaRN Hey - you are so right. On one shift, while working nights in a BUSY ER, and have actually seen a combo of some of those you last posted. Had 2 traumas that needed a trauma surgeon ASAP and 2 came in , 1 drunk as a skunk and had been FLYING IS SINGLE ENGINE PLANE drunk when he was paged. The other doc was high as heck on several pharmaceutical agents, and hit on me just before he passed out AT THE ER desk!!! We had to code him as well as the 2 original patients!

    But I LOVED your first posting with the jokes. The hubbie and I are still laughing today! Keep it up!

    Anne
  12. by   ERRNTraveler
    The original post was hilarious, and very true.... Blee, it was meant to be humorous and poke fun at the "imperfect" and crazy world of the ER.
  13. by   DebanamRN
    I think this is funny and really true.

    The other day at work...you should have seen the looks on the patient's faces when the tech drank out of the full urinal....of course, they didn't know about the jug if iced tea behind the desk.:chuckle
  14. by   saltwaterstat
    maybe I read this wrong..or took it the wrong way..?...I absolutely didnt have a problem w/ the joke..at all! I love the craziness of the ER..along w/ accuracy, of course. I agree w/ ANNE RNC, and quite a few of the others...to set the record straight..I'm still laughing. after review, it looked to me like only one member had a problem w/ it. --no, not losing sleep over it ;-> and I too, would like a nurse w/ a sense of humor rather than a straight n narrow deadpan. thanx..just my 2cents.

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