Funniest injury you have ever seen.....

[MrsWampthang]

I took care of a guy once who had an injury to the third toe and complete amputation of the fourth toe. When asked how this injury occurred......"I was using my twelve gauge shot gun to kill moles in my yard." :chuckle

All I kept thinking was "you might be a redneck if........." :rotfl:

I told him that I hoped his family was going to get plenty of miles out of his injury and his son said "oh yeah. The last thing I told him was not to shoot his foot with the gun." The guy had been balancing the barrel of the gun on his shoe while he waited for signs of the moles moving underground.

Pam

[andyman1216]

i appreciate the follow up.

asfrn

Pelvic/lady partsl exams are contraindicated in heaving bleeding of unknown origin in pregnancy unless totally necessary (ie pt feels urge to push) in this case, pt denied pain of any kind so we suspected previa, vag exam is totally contraindicated in placenta previa, better to do an ultrasound to verify placement of placenta. Also, pt was not actively bleeding on admission and fhts were reactive and reassuring on admit.

[paytonsnana]

While working for a family practice male DR I put a patient into a room.

I told the DR that MS X needed a pelvic exam. The doc looked at me sort of funny and said "didn't we just do one on her?" I replied yes we did,

However she has a salami in her lady parts and cannot remove it. The doc looked at me and said "well does she want me to pull it out or eat it?" I could not go back into the room with the DR.

By the way, he pulled it out. I don't think he liked the particular brand of salami.:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

[greyhair]

A few years ago I was the charge nurse on a Surgical Ward. Admitting phones and says they have an admission with a penile injury. The ER doc phones and I asked him what caused the injury. He replied "a bear did it". I didn't believe him because I knew from previous experience that his sense of humor could be a bit twisted at times. This time it was the truth.

A 20 something fellow was hitchhiking and somehow spent the night in our local zoo. In the morning he got too close to the bear cage, inside the guardrail, with his pants down and with an erection. Exactly what happened after that I really don't know(much speculation though) but he arrived on the ward missing a slice off the head of his member about the size of a 50 cent piece but shallow.

Funniest thing he said was as the catheter went in, "Ow! That hurts!"

[paytonsnana]

A few years ago I was the charge nurse on a Surgical Ward. Admitting phones and says they have an admission with a penile injury. The ER doc phones and I asked him what caused the injury. He replied "a bear did it". I didn't believe him because I knew from previous experience that his sense of humor could be a bit twisted at times. This time it was the truth.

A 20 something fellow was hitchhiking and somehow spent the night in our local zoo. In the morning he got too close to the bear cage, inside the guardrail, with his pants down and with an erection. Exactly what happened after that I really don't know(much speculation though) but he arrived on the ward missing a slice off the head of his member about the size of a 50 cent piece but shallow.

Funniest thing he said was as the catheter went in, "Ow! That hurts!"

And they say don't do a duck. This is certainally one part of the job I love. I think this guy should get the Darwin Award. Unfortnately the award is given only after some one has died for doing something so incredibly stupid they kill themself. Take a look at the Darwin Award web site. It is always good for a laugh. It pretty well covers the good the bad and the stupid.

[mattsmom81]

A guy 20years old came into the ER, he and his girlfriend were "playing" around on the couch...he rolled off and fell straight down on his "member." Apparently he was a little excited to be play fighting with his girlfriend...it worked against him, according to the attending-he "fractured" it. Poor guy.

We get a lot of this stuff...much of it due to chemically assisted erections and rough sex. I just shake my head. Our society seems so preoccupied by bigger and better sex and look what men are doing to themselves.....

[NYCRN16]

Not too long ago I had a young guy who shot himself through his member!! Had the gun in the front of his pants and it went off. :uhoh21:

I dont know what the outcome was after he went to the OR.

[paytonsnana]

Not too long ago I had a young guy who shot himself through his member!! Had the gun in the front of his pants and it went off. :uhoh21:

I dont know what the outcome was after he went to the OR.

Believe it or not about 25 years ago I was at my mom's house and her neighbor's daughter and her boyfriend had an arguement. The guy jumps in his car and speed out of the driveway like a bat out of hell. He had a gun in his pants.

The gun went off. He got banged instead of his girlfriend. Unfortunately my 4 year old daughter saw the whole thing. Literally.The guy rolls out of the car screaming. When EMS arrived on the scene you know the first thing they did was rip out the scissors and cut off the clothes. Well there he lay right in front of God and everybody with his little ding-a-ling and at this point I do mean little.

Our family still laughs about this litttle incident everytime we get together. The blood stains were in the road for years, until the county repaved the road. Man I miss those stains.

[purplemania, BSN, RN]

took care of a ranch hand once who was got an eye infection after collecting a sperm specimen from a bull. Until then I had never considered this was a "manual" procedure.

[OCCHCanada]

I worked in the burn unit, caring for a cop with 1st and 2nd degree burns of his face and hands (he was a very ranking cop).

The police were disposing of a very large cache of weed from several busted grow-ops and Mr. Policeman decided to really get things going, some gasoline would help...it helped alright and earned him a nice flash burn.

Not only was this one bone-headed stunt, he did it in front of large class of soon to graduate cops.

I'm sure he'll never live it down - we called him the poster boy for what NOT to do.

[paytonsnana]

took care of a ranch hand once who was got an eye infection after collecting a sperm specimen from a bull. Until then I had never considered this was a "manual" procedure.

Boy that lends it's self to an entirely new meaning when you hear some body say they hand bred the cattle. And to think I thought it ment just taking the bull to the cow. I can imagine the D/C instructions Keep eyes away from bull's hang me downs:rotfl:

[Salty1]

Retired Chief of Police, depressed over longstanding COPD, brought to ER via ambulance after attempting suicide by putting service revolver in his mouth and firing same. On examination patient was awake and alert with no sign of bleeeding but full upper dentures were cracked in half. Upon removal of dentures, a spent slug fell out on the Mayo stand and a small avulsed area was visualized in the center of the hard palate. Apparently, the revolver had not been fired in more than 30 years and contained the original , severely degraded ammunition.

The patient's PMD arrived in the ER and inquired "Chief, why did you do this?"

The Chief replied "Well, Doctor, I received your bill in the mail this morning."

Although the patient may have been depressed he still managed to keep his sense of humor.

[llg, PhD, RN]

I once hurt my back pulling up my panty hose ... in the bathroom at work ... not drunk ... no special reason. That's just me.

My father was once working as the physician in a small community ER on a Saturday night. He was sleeping in the call room and fell out of bed. He hurt his back so bad they had to call in the orthopedist from home n the middle of the night.

I think it runs in the family.

llg