ER Pet Peeves

Women who come in with c/c breast soreness, period months late etc... don't know what's wrong....(with their multiple children at their side):....hmm...how 'bout...YOUR PREGNANT!

The endless phonecalls that come into the ER all day long, apparently we are the know everything guide. But they are good for humor for the sheer ignorance! Highlights from today?

"My husband was in the ER last night for dizziness and he's still dizzy"
Me: Did he receive any prescriptions?
"Yes, for M-E-C-L-I-Z-I-N-E"
Me: Did you fill the prescription?
"No, the nurse gave him a pill while we were there"
Me: Ten minutes explaining why it is that the one dose given in the ER isn't a cure.

A call from a pt stating she is 8 months pregnant and wants to know who her doctor will be when she delivers her baby next month. Um, you've gone through eight months of pregnancy with no prenatal care and now you want me to guess who will be on shift when baby decides to come? If you want to be picky, try selecting an OB/GYN in the early stages of pregnancy.

An adult calling asking for "Mary" a pt that the ambulance brought in "a couple of hours ago", who then decides to tell me I am a B**** with an attitude problem when I explain that without a last name there is no way of locating "Mary" as there are 70 patients in the ER and over 600 pts in the hospital.

A student calling for information on some disease "for a report that's due tomorrow." The internet is a wonderful thing, try it.

People who ask for school/work notes for their friend who is waiting with them!

Visitors who come to the ER looking for their "friend" or their "babies momma" who is waiting to be seen in the ER.
(me) What is his/her last name.....what is his/her first name
(visitor) Uh, Johnson, I think...Sally
(me) Don't have a Johnson with that first name
(visitor) Try Gonzalez
(me) No Gonzalez with that first name
(visitor) Let me see your list....
(me) Death stare........Don't you know your "friends/babies momma" last name?????

Women who come to the ER because they are 7 days late for their period.....Is Walgreens all out of pregnancy test?

C/O n/v X 1

C/O n/v - holding a diet coke and a bag of doritos!

Docs who believe women are too stupid to pee in a cup properly and require cath UA on all females.

Old person dried flaked off skin all over a supposedly clean stretcher.

visitors sitting on the pelvic bed eating a bag of chips that is sitting on the mayo stand with the speculums and CULTURE tubes. This doesn't so much peeve me as just totally gross me out.

Folks who carpool to the ER. I got a headache, and he has low back pain, and she has low back pain and a headache, and his foot hurts...........

The lady who threatened to physically assualt me because I turned off the TV so that I could assess her lung and heart sounds. Mildly ill NAD had had a COLD for 2 days. To top it off I had to ask her to lay down her bag of chips too.

How about doctors who don't know how to operate a trash can, so they lay their trash (tongue depressors, otoscope covers, etc) on TOP of the lid.

1. visitors that stop me in the hallway, with my arms full of supplies and obviously rushing and ask for a cup of hot tea (for themself, not the pt.)

2. the second visitor that observes above, and asks for something just as foolish.

3. the patient who asks ME for a narcotic rx at d/c..........like I can actually do that. or swoons in triage "something for the pain! gotta have something for the pain!"..........no can do! unable! not possible! give me a minute here please!

4. the patient in for abd pain/vomiting who is awaiting CT and asks for something to eat. I'm starving! jeez..........

5. mom who comes in with multiple kids who all need to be seen, and only one out of the five is actually ill. the others just pull every thing out of the drawers and run all over the place. mom doesn't seem to care.

6. doctors who can't clean up after themselves.

7. verbally abusive patients. who don't have a job. because they are "disabled". who don't seem to have any disability at all, except perhaps their drug addiction/alcoholism.

8. state insurance patients who are asked to pay their copay and tell us they have no money. The copay in my state is $1...........no lie........$1. and of course, they have their cellphone, their manicured nails, their cigs, etc...........

9. my new manager asking me "why is this person in the waiting room for 28 minutes without being triaged yet?" I try to explain that I have just taken time out to discharge 2 patients for the nurses that are slammed, I then cleaned the beds, and placed 2 new patients in them, that I have triaged. I have not had a break, i have not had lunch. I came in at 0700, it is 1500. Her response? "do you know what the national standard is for triage?" I look at her and say, yes, 5 minutes from arrival to triage. what a crock of sh**. she then informs me that triaging a patient should take no longer than 5 minutes. what the ?............ how am I supposed to triage everyone in less than 5 minutes if 1o people come in at once? ???????????????

1. Docs who give you multiple verbal orders on multiple patients simultaneously and want them done all at the same time... uh... write it down and I'll do the most important first and get to the others immediately thereafter.

2. Frequent flyers. They just suck the life outta ya. ( the ones who aren't really ill that is)

3. those individually wrapped oral meds that cannot be opened for love nor money.

4. People who don't engage the safety device on the safety needles! DRIVES ME CRAZY!!!!

5. Call ahead seating.. Since when do you call the Er to announce that you will be arriving soon.. So what? We'll treat you in the order of the severity of your illness, not first come(call) first served.

6. People coming in with c/o vomiting... how many time have you vomited? Answer... once... ohmygod.. call the morgue!

7. Above applies to one episode of diarrhea.

8. Docs who order emergency enemas... is there really such thing... yes I know.. occassionally it is necessary in the ER, but usually not... especially on kids.

9. Patients who say when you are starting an IV, you only get one poke... well.. most of the time that all I need, but neither one of us can help how your veins are!!!!!

Do people really come in because they vomited once?? I guess they do because I'm definitely not doubting you all. If I worked in ED this would be one of my pet peeves, too. What makes vomiting or diarrhea x1 an occasion to seek out emergency medical attention?? Especially diarrhea! Are the stores out of Imodium or something?

If *I* was sick to the point of vomiting and/or diarrhea, I'd prefer to do so at my home, where I can go into my own bathroom, sleep in my own bed when I'm sick. Not go out into a public area where you are vomiting with an audience (I know that I don't need that) or using the restroom while having the runs and enduring people knocking on the door... this is why I'm a brave little girl and I STAY HOME. Besides, my husband can take care of me like no one else can.. I do the same for him.

Now if I was running a tremendously high fever and had severe abd. pain and was vomiting several times over more than a day, this would definintely be a different story.

ED vs. my own bedroom for vomiting/diarrhea? No contest...