ER disclaimer - page 2

Had a bad day and would like to have some fun. Thought I would try to put together a disclaimer upon signing into the ER that almost sounds professional enough to hand patients. Thank you for... Read More

  1. by   lpnstudentin2010
    Quote from bethin
    What if they have to go to the br?
    I was thinking the same.
  2. by   jojotoo
    Quote from EmerNurse
    Do you think they put you in triage because they HATE you? Is it to keep you away from everyone else? Is it PUNISHMENT? Sure, felt like it last night - maybe they hated me last night and that's why I'm in triage again tonite? Do they put the crappy nurses in triage to be mean?


    I only put my BEST nurses in triage - someone who's clinical judgement that I can trust.
  3. by   jojotoo
    Quote from Dixielee

    IF YOU ARE RECEIVING DISABILITY CHECKS AND COME IN BECAUSE YOU EITHER FELL OUT OF A DEER STAND, FELL OFF YOUR ROOF OR A LADDER, OR WERE COMPETING IN A MOTOCROSS EVENT....GET A JOB!

    AND REMEMBER OUR MOTTO: YOU GOTTA BE TOUGH IF YOU ARE GONNA BE STUPID


    HaHaHaHa!!!!
    :roll :roll :roll
  4. by   EmerNurse
    Quote from jojotoo
    I only put my BEST nurses in triage - someone who's clinical judgement that I can trust.
    Thanks jojotoo - I needed to hear that! They must trust me ALOT - cause I'm in there again (3rd night) tonite!

    You all are great - thanks for the encouragement.
  5. by   TouchstoneRN
    Many times at work we joke about "goody bag checklists" to be handed out by security prior to triage. The patient could select options such as:

    1. vicodin or percocet (depending on pt preference) x2 tabs po
    2. Phenergan 12.5mg po (in case the pt feels the extra needed drama to impress enterouge of supporters by puking at the guards feet)
    3. Emesis basin (again for that extra dramatic effect)
    4. work note (the patient could specify amt. of days off)
    5. ______________(the pt could fill in whatever else they feel they need. i.e. ace wrap, crutches, sling.....)
  6. by   lyraesullivan
    Quote from bethin
    What if they have to go to the br?

    Glad you feel better. :spin: I think pts should have to sign that when they get triaged.
    I've always felt that if you need to go to the BR more than once and it requires my interventions then foley it is
  7. by   LMPhilbric
    ER Rules:

    1. This is an ER, not a bakery. You don't take a number to be seen. If you don't like that, the bakery is up the street and to the left. See if they can help you.

    2. (As my wonderful friend with the Southern accent says), "Listen up, people! You get in in the order that you're dying and I decide who's dying, so don't ask me when you get to go back."

    3. If you could have visited your primary care physician any time in the last 72 hours with this complaint, it's probably not an emergency. If it were, you would be dead already.

    4. Migraine headaches who are "allergic" to Toradol and Imitrex, should just state which narcotic it is that they are seeking in order to expidite things for everyone.

    5. Anyone caught faking seizures will a) be moved down on the triage list if still in the waiting room b) Will receive Dilantin 1 g IVPB as minimally diluted as possible as fast as possible (yes, I know it burns like hell, but we don't want you to have another "seizure".

    6. We are working on the concept of the drive through ER. Pull up, tell us what narcotic you want, how many days you need off work, and would you like fries with that?

    I was out in the penalty box recently and was up to my A$$ in alligators. I had about 35 people in the waiting room and there were always at least 5 people who needed to be triaged. I had a drunk wanting to be detoxed (yeah, I'll jump right on that) and a lady who's kid cut his finger. As luck would have it, the next 4 people who checked in were having big time chest pain, strokes, etc., so I had to triage them first. I'm so busy that the charge nurse is out helping me and I can triage faster than anybody else in the ER. The drunk keeps coming up and harassing my secretary wanted to know why he hasn't been triaged. I finally get up and tell him that he's third to be triaged. He tells me that he was third to be triaged an hour ago. I go through the usual "dying goes first", etc. but he doesn't want to hear it. I tell him that every time I have to get up to talk to him, it takes me that much longer to get to him. By this time, my male charge nurse is standing behind me. The drunk goes on complaining, so I pick up the next chart to be triaged, move his up in the rack and say, "Look, now you're second" and walk away. My charge nurse almost wet his pants laughing.

    I work in the ER for the entertainment value. Remember our motto, "If they ever outlaw stupidity, we'll all have to go work at Walmart."
  8. by   ernurse61
    I like your motto Dixielee, here is the one we toss around at work "you can't cure stupid"
  9. by   lpnstudentin2010
    bump.
  10. by   EmerNurse
    Someone post something. I love this thread but I'm too tired. And would someone PLEASE tell patients that it's not our job to feed them 6 box meals at 1am because they "ain't had nothin to eat in 6 days", when they've only been in my ER for 2 hours? For vague back pain. Again. Wearing the socks we gave them yesterday.

    You need a sense of humor to work in ER- and a STRONG sense of irony.
  11. by   Bridget O'Malley
    A nurse was fired for this comment (and some choice other comments to patients), but I love it:

    "You just passed twelve fast food restaurants on your way here and now you're hungry and want me to pull a meal tray out of my ass?!"
  12. by   Jen2
    Working triage the other day. Waiting room full of ESI 111 patients. Car pulls up and this middle aged man weighing about 120 lbs pulls up and comes running in through the doors. "I need help getting my wife out of the car , she can't move." The CA goes out with a wheelchair, well she weighs about 350 lbs and is unable to sit up straight. We get three of our most macho men, a flight medic, our charge nurse and the CA to go out with a stretcher, and "extricate" this woman from the private vehicle. They get her out of the car and onto the stretcher. As I am triaging her I ask how she got into the car in the first place. She informed me that her 120 lb husband "carried" her to the vehicle. Her chief complaint was low back pain x's 2 months.
  13. by   Victoriakem
    I always say, "I was a bad, evil nurse & am being punished today." when in Triage. I keep track of how many times I work Triage so I can get out of it if it's more than twice a week. Any more than that & I get homicial.

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