Dont you just love them

  1. Really been hit heavier than normal lately with drug and drunk patients. And so many of them say "you have to feel sorry for me, I am sick". Yes I have to take care of you, and I have to do it nicely. I have no problem with this. But I dont feel sorry for them. The last one who told me I had to feel sorry for him, was on Meth and Cocaine. My response was that no I dont have to feel sorry for you.
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  2. 29 Comments

  3. by   Sabby_NC
    I often wonder what goes on in their life to slide down that slippery slope and get hooked on all this stuff.
    While I understand some have addictive behaviors In the long run most of the time the drugs will ruin their lives.
    Knock off a few neurons etc.
    Plain sad if you ask me. I feel sorry that the drugs get such a hold over them.
    They lose family, friends, jobs, etc. They steal to get that next fix no matter at what cost.
    I just shake my head.
  4. by   teeituptom
    I still refuse to feel sorry for them
  5. by   gonzo1
    If we felt sorry for all our patients we would lose our minds. It is too overwhelming. I did feel sorry for the grandparents of the 6 y/o who died of an asthma attack because they were all from Mexico, uneducated and didn't know what to do.
    I felt sorry for the mother of 4 who found out she had brain cancer really bad after feeling dizzy.
    But I thank God I have the ability to treat with respect and dignity and yet keep a professional distance, otherwise I would be sadder and more depressed than I already am.
    I agree with you Tom.
  6. by   Spidey's mom
    It is very hard to "feel sorry" for people who chose drugs over family. I realize the addictive nature of drug/alcohol use and I actually think it is a disease . . . . but I've seen so many kids treated harshly by drug-addled parents. It makes you mad.

    Even in my own family.

    I agree with you Tom - treat them professionally, give them good care. But feel sorry for them? That is hard. I feel sorry for their families.

    steph
  7. by   loricatus
    Quote from teeituptom
    Really been hit heavier than normal lately with drug and drunk patients. And so many of them say "you have to feel sorry for me, I am sick". Yes I have to take care of you, and I have to do it nicely. I have no problem with this. But I dont feel sorry for them. The last one who told me I had to feel sorry for him, was on Meth and Cocaine. My response was that no I dont have to feel sorry for you.
    You just have to look at them and say to yourself that they are so full of self pity any more would be harmful to their health. Someday I may just get up the nerve to actually say that to their face.
  8. by   donsterRN
    People who choose to destroy their own lives often destroy the lives of those around them. Like Steph, I feel sorry for the people around them. But those individuals who abuse their bodies and their families and make selfish choices that result in even more destruction? Not a chance. Competent care? Yes. Sympathy? No way.
  9. by   nursenpnk
    EMPATHY i can only imagine what it is like to be in their shoes, meaning the abuser, the family of the abuser and the nurse taking care of them ect. addictions are illnesses and who am i to judge. so hard in our profession but essential!
  10. by   IngyRN
    My family member is a drug & ETOH addict. Our family has invested so much time, travel ( he lives in the caribbean after being deported due to this drug problem), money, and personal sacrifices on rehab medicine, alternative medicine, therapy etc. We have tried all our best to support him and show him we love him unconditionally.........to no avail. He spends soem time in rehab only to go back to his old ways. Most of the time he blames everyone else for his addiction and ALWAYS has the "poor me" attitude. We love him dearly but its so painful and frustrating!
  11. by   gam3rchic
    The only drug and alcohol addicts I feel bad for are the ones that are actually trying to break their addiction....not the ones that continue on destroying their lives through their own free will.

    To break that cycle is very hard and a life-long struggle...you are never free from the bonds of addiction...that's why I feel sympathy for the ones fighting the good fight trying to get better. Other than them...no...not one ounce of sympathy for the ones who don't care.
  12. by   teeituptom
    I have actually told a patient, who asked me to be sorry for him, I said "Not a chance there, that will never happen"

    I dont feel this is vindictive

    I dont feel this is judgemental

    Im simply telling him the truth.

    And when his girlfriend told me to feel sorry for him. I told her the same thing.
  13. by   mom4josh
    Just a little related question because it has come up at work... do you feel sorry for others who get sick because of what they have done to themselves? Like the lung cancer or COPD patient who smoked 2 packs a day for 40 years (and still smokes)? Or the dialysis patient who has been a non-compliant diabetic for years? Or even the AMI patient who didn't watch their diet or exercise?

    Tough.
  14. by   tencat
    Quote from mom4josh
    Just a little related question because it has come up at work... do you feel sorry for others who get sick because of what they have done to themselves? Like the lung cancer or COPD patient who smoked 2 packs a day for 40 years (and still smokes)? Or the dialysis patient who has been a non-compliant diabetic for years? Or even the AMI patient who didn't watch their diet or exercise?

    Tough.
    Yes it is tough. But people make thier choices. I don't particularly feel sorry for these patients. I don't see these circumstances as tragic (like the mother of four who had brain cancer that another poster told about). If it's a true tragedy, then I feel sorry for them. But if they've brought it on themselves, as so many patients have, I will give them the best care I can and empathize, but I won't feel sorry for them.

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