Baby Deaths

We have debriefings with pastoral care...you never forget them in my experience. Some have gone to free grief counseling our hospital offers as well.

the thing that helps me the most is a hug from my wife and another one from my son.

Thinking of the many others that you have helped to take care of and are now at home with their parents

I havent had to deal with infant deaths... But I can say that when my patients die, if I was attached, I like to write about it. Depending on how upset I am - I will write about my entire experience with the person and then write about how it makes me feel, and MOST IMPORTANT how I was able to help that person in some way before they died. It might seem selfish, but sometimes if you think about the positives you brought to them (even if it was just a smile or caring enough to feel bad) it makes you feel better. It shifts you from being sad about something out of your control to happy about something you were able to control that made someones life just a smidgen better.

I also pray. If I feel bad, I ask God to help me cope with my grief and bring me some peace and comfort and maybe wisdom in what I am going through.

You never forget - for me, even now years later, I remember several infant/child deaths and the one that I remember in vivid detail was in 1996. Talking things over and realizing you did what you could helps me.

Allow yourself to grieve.
I've seen more deaths than I can remember, after 28 years, but babies are hard. I pushed aside feelings once, for too long. It just hit me one night, and I cried in my husband's arms for nearly an hour. He thought I wasn't going to be able to stop, and was considering calling for help!
Face it, think about it, pray about it, cry some if you need to, but don't ignore the feelings. Talking it out helps, especially with the other folks that were in on the code. The debriefing sessions never seem to get held at a time when I'm there, but others have used them.

Hugging my kids.

I have never really had an issue with any code including pediatrics. From my EMS side I have ran far more than my share of pediatric codes including one day with 3 (two separate pool drownings and a rollover mvc with ejection). I have always looked at it from the stand point that I did not cause the patient to be in their current situation and knowing that the patient had everything tried to improve their condition. Take every class available to further you knowledge with dealing with these cases such as PALS/NALS/APLS/ENPC. When you know there is nothing else that could have been done you will sleep better.