add your funny TRIAGE complaints from pts - page 5

Hey all new to the board, thought we could share some strang encounters in triage...... ...as the 24yr male entered triage I asked what's wrong today? He replies my "ovories" hurt...... there... Read More

  1. by   ThrowEdNurse
    Quote from Fallenangel_85
    How about:

    Pt: "I felt something that felt like some sort of an insect bite the area was red for a few seconds, I put some ice on it... now it's gone"
    Me: And why are you here then sir?
    Pt: I had a stroke 4 years ago

    That's when I get a blank face trying to link the 2

    Pt: I had cardiac surgery last year

    Me - Still with a blank face. I am sorry sir but I can't see the relationship with your current presenting complain.

    Pt: The doctor said to come straight here if I felt any chest pain and/or numbness in my arms especially if its in my left arm.(and he took out a list of symptoms he should be watching out for). Well the area went numb after I put ice on it, so I thought I'd come straight here. I was going to call an ambulance but I figured my wife could drive me since I only had 1 symptom.
    AAUUUGH!!!!!!!
    And it's people like this that survive strokes.
  2. by   USIJurgy
    Oh man, I am usually one of those people who just browses, but this one caught my eye!
    So I was working triage one day when a gentleman came in who had been in the ER 3 days ago for urinary retention secondary to BPH. We sent him home with a leg bag and told him to follow up with the urologist.


    On the sign in sheet for his chief complaint he put, "Here to be decathinated."

    Just thought that was too funny!
    Last edit by USIJurgy on Oct 24, '08 : Reason: typo
  3. by   Fallenangel_85
    Quote from ThrowEdNurse
    AAUUUGH!!!!!!!
    And it's people like this that survive strokes.
    Unfortunately for our gene pool YES!
  4. by   Hilinenursegrl
    " I was bit by a raccoon" True
    "I was bit by a gopher" True
    "I locked myself out of the house when I went out to have a smoke and had to break the window with my elbow b/c my baby was in there" Not true
    "I need a Hcg test" This from a girl who had a baby 2 weeks ago and a hx of more than 15 hcg's in our ED in 2 years.
    "I'm sure I have a blood clot in my vein I can feel it. I find this an emergency. I'm going to take a bath before I come in" This was a phone call I received after he explained to me what Lasix was.
  5. by   twinmommy+2
    We had one come in yesterday for OD by ambulance, took about 20 xanax. When asked why he did he states slowly "for an experience of a lifetime". I told the nurse that told me that, "he must just be making his bucket list"
  6. by   twinmommy+2
    Quote from RNREMT-P
    Me: "what brings you to the ER today?"
    Pt (with flat affect): "I need my peanut butter balls."
    Me: "I see. and what happens when you don't get your peanut butter balls?"
    Pt: "I fall out"
    here began a lengthy Q:A session filled with repetitive questions (from me-sounding like i had a concussion) and vague, non-descript answers from him (because he wasn't much of a conversationalist), it was finally determined.....he wanted phenobarbitol because "falling out" was a seizure (in my defense i thought it was syncope).
    Thank you, that made me laugh today:chuckle
  7. by   mmutk
    I can't remember the exact details of the conversation, but i'll never forget this 17 year old girl. She came in and once I got her back to the triage room she broke down on me and wanted me to talk her through having sex for the first time with her boyfriend. She said they tried earlier in the week and they just didn't get it right and wanted some advice and to let her know what to expect.

    Being a male nurse and over the age of 18, I immediately triaged her to a female nurse in fast track.
  8. by   The_Squid
    We just started having pt's list their complaints, we were triaging backwards before, registration taking cheif complaint and insurance then seeing triage. I laugh mostly at the spelling so far "Vomintin"
  9. by   ThrowEdNurse
    Quote from The_Squid
    We just started having pt's list their complaints, we were triaging backwards before, registration taking cheif complaint and insurance then seeing triage. I laugh mostly at the spelling so far "Vomintin"
    Our pts usually say that they are "vomikin"
  10. by   hereigoagain
    Quote from 10MG-IV
    A friend who works in the BAYOU, sent this to me.I had to pass it along after reading "names"

    How do you pronounce this name Le-a?
    Leah?? NO
    Lee - A?? NOPE
    Lay - a?? NO
    Lei?? Guess Again.
    It's pronounced "Ledasha" Oh yes...you read it right. This child attends a school in Livingston Parish, LA. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong. SO, if you see something
    come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce it correctly.

    When the mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said "the dash don't be silent". :typing
    This is crazy...hahaha...pretty creative, but we don't have the time for such "creativity"...
  11. by   TennNurse
    We're getting a lot of Le-a's as well. I am amazed by how upset these moms get when the correct pronunciation of the name does not immediately fly off the tongue.

    My day began with "Last night I took a bunch of Ex-Lax and gave myself an enema."
    "So what brings you in today?"
    "I have diarrhea."
  12. by   bigjim
    Quote from 10MG-IV
    A friend who works in the BAYOU, sent this to me.I had to pass it along after reading "names"

    How do you pronounce this name Le-a?
    Leah?? NO
    Lee - A?? NOPE
    Lay - a?? NO
    Lei?? Guess Again.
    It's pronounced "Ledasha" Oh yes...you read it right. This child attends a school in Livingston Parish, LA. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong. SO, if you see something
    come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce it correctly.

    When the mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said "the dash don't be silent". :typing

    Cute, but it's a verbatim cut and paste of a chain email/Snopes.com


    http://www.snopes.com/racial/language/le-a.asp
  13. by   Salls25
    my first week in triage:
    Intoxicated and unhygienic patient comes to triage in her pj's, robe, and slippers c/o breast pain. when did it start, I ask. "When we were just in bed (explicits removed) rough, they were swinging all over the place."
    patient and her partner stare at me stone-faced and concerned.

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