add your funny TRIAGE complaints from pts - page 2

Hey all new to the board, thought we could share some strang encounters in triage...... ...as the 24yr male entered triage I asked what's wrong today? He replies my "ovories" hurt...... there... Read More

  1. by   RNDreamer
    lol, funny


    Quote from ritarunningfeet
    .
    " I'm unconcious" The pt telling. I said you mean you were unconcious, no I'm unconcious now. Ok, sure.
  2. by   TazziRN
    True stories:


    "My baby's not breathing!"


    Baby is looking at me from his carrier with wide eyes, nice and pink, with a stuffy nose.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    "My baby can't swallow."

    Baby is sucking from a bottle with gusto and inhales half the contents right before my eyes.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    "My baby's heart hurts."

    "What makes you think that?"

    "Because she's crying a lot."

    Baby is sitting in mom's lap giggling as I tickle her chin.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


    16-year-old girl brought in by her mother with a request to verify the girl's virginity because a neighbor lady was spreading rumors in the neighborhood that the girl had slept with several boys.
  3. by   AliRae
    "ran away from home for a few days. mom wants to know if still a virgin."
  4. by   RNDreamer
    Quote from AliRae
    "ran away from home for a few days. mom wants to know if still a virgin."
    oh goodness, lol
  5. by   RedERRN
    I don't remember the exact words he used, but one of our genuine medical frequent flyers presented one night because he had slept with a prostitute and then proceeded to wash his privates with bleach "so I wouldn't get an STD." Ummmm.....yeah.
    He was airlifted to the nearest burn center!
    Last edit by RedERRN on Apr 18, '07 : Reason: spelling
  6. by   TazziRN
    Quote from RedERRN
    I don't remember the exact words he used, but one of our genuine medical frequent flyers presented one night because he had slept with a prostitute and then proceeded to wash his privates with bleach "so I wouldn't get an STD." Ummmm.....yeah.
    He was airlifted to the nearest burn center!

    Oh








    my









    gawd.....................
  7. by   10MG-IV
    Quote from er nursing
    Hey all new to the board, thought we could share some strang encounters in triage......


    ...as the 24yr male entered triage I asked what's wrong today? He replies my "ovories" hurt...... there is a time for pt education and there is a time when it's not....this is clearly one of those time its not.....
    Whats yours?
    JBL
    JOHN AND I Decided we should treat you with a few we have heard over the past few weeks.,
    I can't be pregnant, I had a tubal litigation." Sex with a Lawyer???? Hummm
    I have aspiration..... what sir what symptoms are you having??? my butt is sweating.
    "Stomake" "left foot" direah crossed out , dirahhea crossed out darihea, crossed out... shi*s
    *****.....
    yellow blood
    bad blood
    sugar blood

    vomiking
    "headache below the waist." go figure, I lost them in the mix and couldn't find out what was really wrong. could have been "vines"
    Last edit by 10MG-IV on Sep 19, '08
  8. by   sjt9721
    Quote from 10MG-IV
    .....
    yellow blood
    bad blood
    sugar blood
    You forgot "high blood".......to which I always reply, "Sugar or pressure?"
  9. by   bill4745
    " I kneed a preggeirancy test"


    How about an IQ test?
  10. by   TraumaNurseRN
    Triae nurse: What brings you to the ER?
    Pt: Somethin's going on down there! (Points below the counter)
    Triage nurse: Down where?
    Pt: Down there where the grass don't grow but I got somethin growin, for sure, and it ain't pretty.
  11. by   suzy253
    Mom and Dad brought 9 month old to the ER.
    Complaint?
    The baby isn't reading
  12. by   mwboswell
    A "regular" comes to triage and tells the RN,
    "I have pseudo-seizures, and I'm fixing' to have one...."
  13. by   lillarn
    "can't breed"

    this from a SOB mother of 5.

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