"Foreign objects in body cavities" - page 9

This is how they present in triage. You note that they appear anxious, possibly in a bit of pain, sometimes they are very matter of fact. We've all seen em. Retained foreign object in various... Read More

  1. by   RNin92
    Quote from babynurselsa
    Had a pt one time who inserted a 6 inch jigsaw blade in his penis.
    Well..at least he was trying thin out the gene pool!
  2. by   RNin92
    Quote from pghfoxfan
    Now, correct me if I'm wrong...but how do these objects actually get into the shower/tub? A hotdog? A lamp? ***** And even if you are NOT in the tub, then we have a whole lot of people running around their homes with very slippery floors. Do I even want to go there? I think not.

    The whole animal thing is just wrong! LOL! Where are those animal rights people when you need them? Hippa schmippa...I think their names should go in the local paper, at least warn people to keep their dogs on a leash. j/k
    Not only are there people running around in homes with strange objects "milling about" their bathtubs...but they are running all around thier houses naked...how else would those sill FBs find their way IN those orifices???!!??

  3. by   RNin92
    Quote from TwoLeftFeet
    When dogs mate, the male's penis swells and they remain in an embrace called 'the Tie.' In larger dogs, this time has to be carefully supervised, because the male might endure an injury if they start hopping around or the ***** wants to get away and starts a fight. It seems to me that dogs do OK on their own, but this is what my dog-owner's manual said.

    We had an incident about 15 years ago when a well-known professor had an amorous adventure with her Great Dane. During the 'tie' phase, the dog got violent and started biting her, so they were brought to the ER in tandem. Unfortunately, the animal had to be destroyed. IMHO, they should have destroyed the professor. Poor doggie.

    It was supposed to be very hush-hush (long before HEPPA) but the news got out anyway and spread like wildfire. When she'd try to give a lecture, naughty students would hide in the bushes outside her lecture hall windowand bay.

    Ah, the pleasures of living in a college town!

    Lefty
    Just gotta ask...
    Exactly what did this professor teach?!!?
  4. by   RNin92
    Sorry about the multiple replies but I've been out of touch for awhile...just got back online...
    Man...how much I've missed!!!!!

    So here are my stories...

    20-something male:
    Comes in with c/o Pain in Arse...yea, no kidding!
    Goes to xray...
    FB found in rectum (NOOOOO?????)
    Too high up for removal in ER (Thank God!)
    Has to go to surgery...sorry OR friends!
    His response...is that where it went?!!?

    So he's in surgery to remove the ketchup bottle he lost...
    (Cooking in the nude?!!?)
    All of a sudden there is a great deal of comotion...he's bleeding out...
    Oh no...that would be the bottle breaking!!!
    Anyone with a burger handy?!!?

    Again, 20-something male:
    No FB but DOES have MULTIPLE rings on his penis...
    Thought if one is good many are better!!!
    Til you loose circulation to the organ...did ya want to keep that?????
    Let me tell you...titanium...one tough metal.
    Don't go there!
  5. by   stevierae
    Quote from RNin92
    Just gotta ask...
    Exactly what did this professor teach?!!?
    Was it "Human Sexuality?" :chuckle
    Last edit by stevierae on Jun 20, '04
  6. by   Nurse Ratched
    Quote from stevierae
    Was it "Human Sexuality?" :chuckle
    And if so, could it be considered workman's comp?
  7. by   jyoung1950
    Quote from SWFlorida
    I had one fine gentleman who presented to the ER with C/o "Sex toy in rectum" Sure enough xray revealed a large dildo, 12 inches which had been inserted into his rectum and then had migrated north. He was unable to retrieve it. So he hopped into the car with his girlfriend and came in to the ER.

    He was a nice fellow, we tried real hard to not embaress him. On retrieving the object he decided he did not want to be admitted for observation. (could have problems with tears, infection, etc) He signed out AMA. He did take the antibiotic shot and tetnus. Didnt take his dildo with him.
    My sister used to work in the ER and a situation like this happened. It wasn't a dildo; it was a vibrator and in addition to not being able to get it out of his rectum the patient wasn't able to turn it off either.
  8. by   RN77
    I'm ROTFL!!! These are hysterical! Sadly, they're true, too. I'm glad there's idiots like these out there to give us all job security! LOL Goodness, you've all made my night, and I REALLY needed those laughs right now. Thanks.
  9. by   stevierae
    Quote from Nurse Ratched
    And if so, could it be considered workman's comp?
    No, because she was apparently practicing or teaching her canine sexuality skills--Bark! Bark!

    Stepped a bit outside her job description.
  10. by   stevierae
    Quote from teeituptom
    Good Vibrations Classes 101

    I can hear the Beach boys singing in the background

    Im picking up Good vibrations
    they are giving me the excitations

    etc

    I never looked at that song that way before

    spoils my whole image of the Beach Boys
    Today is Brian Wilson's birthday, and he is being inducted into the Hollywood Bowl Hall of Fame on June 25.

    Happy Birthday and congratulations to a great musician!!

    http://www.brianwilson.com/content/g...hotos/home.jpg
  11. by   Ashera
    :chuckle Ya know? What one of the wonderful things about 'us nurses' is that we can write about this - we can sit here and read about this - and we can do it all over a quick lunch or sitting here eating at home! The real world out there is ever amazed at the stories I can share - but it takes another nurse to really understand the humor we can find in some of these stories. Hey - it's just life and life is pretty weird. I'm glad I'm simply able to take care of a little corner of it!
  12. by   webbiedebbie
    Old man comes into ER with his wife...can't get the cherries out that he put up there!
  13. by   Snowy
    [QUOTE=ang75]........ Went to put a foley in and there were roaches in her labial folds!!!!!!!! ..........
    QUOTE]

    :stone :uhoh21: Sick and wrong!! I was at a fast food resturant once and the patron in front of me was a very unkept girl who had flys (dozens of them) flying in and out of her shorts and all around her. It was all I could do to politely walk out and go eat somewhere else... very gross

    Ang75, you "win" on that one... at least I didn't have look at the areas fly lady had

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