My favorite patient, a very sweet little lady who is SO weak due to severe cardiomyopathy that is only getting worse but tries to hold her head up and keep a bright outlook anyway, informed me today that she is considering giving up hemodialysis. Her exact words to me were, "I know I'm going."
She's right, she is. She has been such a blessing to me, and it has been such a joy to see her every day here and make her smile and to try to keep her spirits up when it becomes a struggle for her. It has been painful to watch her deteriorate so quickly over the past few weeks, though, and I had to step off the floor to shed a few tears today after talking with her. She is still in the decision-making process, and hospice is in with her and they are sending a nurse and a chaplain out to her home later today to talk with her. But we are all aware of the inevitable and she herself says she just wants to stop suffering. Can't blame her for that. She's not going to get any better and based on the nuclear medicine reports I have sitting in front of me from her cardiologist, it's only going to get a lot worse really fast.
I told her primary nurse this (I'm the charge nurse) and of course she's taking it about as well as I am.
Just felt a need to share. Thanks for letting me do so.
Aug 11, '03
Sounds like all pieces are fitting together for her.
It's makes me feel good about nursing to her a nurse such as yourself have such compassion and the ability to see things from your pts view.
You are a good person Barbara!
Aug 22, '03
Thank you, Noney, that's always nice to hear...but it's a shame if that attitude toward our patients isn't the norm....
BTW, this same pt, to add insult to injury, tripped over her O2 tubing at home Tuesday and broke her hip. Poor thing....
Sep 4, '03
We recently lost two dear, sweet, cute ladies from our unit.
I feel their absence and I sympathize wtih you.
Dec 15, '03
I hear you! It's so hard not to get attached to people you see a few times a week. We just lost one on my unit too, but it was a shock. She was x-mas shopping in the mall and dropped dead of a heart attack.
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