I have been on AN since nursing school and now I am in a new grad program in ICU/CCU. I am brand-sinking-new. This is my first nursing job and I find myself in the front lines. ICU/CCU was my ultimate goal. I thought after a couple of years of experience I will do ICU. Well, I was thrusted to the goal. I feel overwhelmed. I have been working since March and even today I question when will it ALL sink in. Don't get me wrong, I know it's only been approximately 3 months and I cut myself slack but no one else does. My hospital is a bit backwards. We are just getting computerized charting. They still use heparin flush protocols, even though EBP shows saline is just the same if not better and cheaper. The orders are all written in and I don't know how to decipher the cryptic Dr writing. I end up missing things. I hate it! Then giving report to the night and I feel utterly incompetent. It doesn't help that this particular night nurse is the "I eat my young" variety. I know I'm griping. I am trying to get the most out of this opportunity but there are days when I think, "Seriously, this is my calling? Playing catch up?"
That's all for now.
Ms. Bitter Mcbitterson.