Feeling very discouraged right now. Advice please?

Hello! This is my first time posting...but I need some place to vent to other people involved in nursing and could use some advice right now.

So I'm training to be a nurse aide right now. It's a 3 week course and I'm in my 3rd week which is the week we do clinicals and go to a nursing home and practice our skills on real people. I finish the course on Friday. Today will be the last day of our clinicals.

My class consist of 9 people including me. Most of them have some experience already with the medical field and such. One's in occupational therapy, another is close to graduating as a medical assistant, one of them works in a home for MRDD, or some of them come from a family of nurses.

Now some info on me---I'm a nursing major, but to be very technical I'm in prenursing. I just finished my freshman year of college and will be moving on to my sophomore year. At my school, your first two years of college are just your general electives, then you can move onto nursing school in the junior/senior year. So I haven't really been taught anything pertaining to nursing or medicine yet. No one in my family is involved in nursing or medicine or anything like that. So compared to all my classmates, I feel very inexperienced and incompetent at times.


So here comes the venting/ranting---

So far I feel so very very inexperienced and incompetent compared to everyone. I just feel that everyone is more nurturing, or knowledgeable, or skilled, or have better communication skills with the residents. At clinicals so far, I've done some things ok and some things not ok.

Examples---
My first time feeding a resident, I tipped the milk cup a little too far and milk spilled on the resident. I felt so horrible about it. Other than that the feeding went fine.

After dinner my instructor brings us to a resident and tells my classmate and I to go transfer a resident to the bathroom and then she leaves to go with another pair of students. Afterwards we had trouble with putting on a new brief. I've never ever had to change even a baby's diaper before, and it probably should have been common sense even though we never learned how to do it in class. And then my classmate went to get help from the instructor, and then the instructor comes back and yells at us because we were not suppose to transfer without her there. I was unaware of this. I just felt like such a failure at that moment.

The next day at clinicals we do dinner, which went well so yay for me. Then I get paired with two other girls to do a shower. It was my first time ever showering someone else and we were only taught that part in theory in class, so I was very very nervous and didn't want to mess up. And thankfully I didn't but I felt like I still had to get a lot of help from one of the other girls who did have lots of experience showering.


Later on that night I and two other girls go to assist a nurse aide with pericare. And this is the part where I feel so very very naive and stupid. I learned the hard way to not be so trusting in people.

The nurse aide asks if we want to practice transferring from wheelchair to bed, to which I replied that we had to have the instructor there for it. But then my classmate said that it was also ok if the nurse aide was there. And then my classmate goes to transfer but since I was closer she said I could do it. And I was too trusting of her word that it was alright as long as the nurse aide is there, because silly me went to go help transfer but I wasn't able to do it because the resident would not pivot to get into bed so I had to set him back down in his wheelchair. So I'm feeling really awful right now because I failed at a task.


I was at least able to do pericare, but afterwards they go to tell the two instructors what happened and I got yelled at big time in front of all the other students. They threatened to kick me out of the program even if there was only two days left, and that the next day for clinicals (which would be today, thurs), one of the two instructors is gonna have to be with me the entire time.


So as of right now, I'm feeling loads and loads of awful and no confidence at all. I'm basically gonna have to be babysat today at clinicals, which does nothing for my self esteem and makes me feel even more incompetent. I'm feeling a little betrayed or something because it was almost the other girl who would have been yelled at. I'm feeling soooo very stupid for putting my trust in someone like that. I feel way too naive at the moment. I don't have a whole bunch of experience like the other girls in my class, and that just makes me feel so much worse.


I nearly cried when my instructors said they might have to kick me out. I am so close to finishing this course. This is what I really really want. It's like my dreams were crushed in that instant. I really want to become a nurse. I love helping people and seeing them get better. It's just part of my nature to help people. Nursing has everything I want in a career. It's so varied, helping people get better is awesome, knowing that you helped to make a person's day that much better is such a satisfying feeling to me, and I love learning about the human body. But right now I just don't know how to get better. I want to become a great nurse, but if I can't even do the job of a nurse aide how the heck can I become a nurse?


I'm feeling very shaken and discouraged right now. I was wondering if any of you had any advice for me? Have any of you ever been where I am at right now? Is there even any hope for me? Giving up is not what I do. I want to conquer this and get better, but right now I really have no clue as to how. I guess you could say I'm all kinds of lost right now.


Help? Pretty please?


Thank you for taking the time to read this. I apologize that it's kinda long. I hope you all have a nice day.