Things we think that we do not say... humorous... - Page 3

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  1. Apr 27, '12 by
    Quote from canchaser
    I got pregnant at the age of 15, never swallowed a pill. Can remember my mother and I fighting when she would try to get me to swallow a pill. She would finally give in and crush it or I would just avoid the medicine and keep the headache. But when I had the baby and had to take a dulcolax. I asked the nurse to crush it...... She gave me the hell no look and said girl you are big enough for sex, your big enough to swallow this. And I did, thank u nurse now I can swallow pills! Sometimes all it takes is the truth....
    I like this

    But even with your crushed pills, I seriously doubt your mom suggested stuffing them up your nose?
    VivaLasViejas likes this.
  2. Apr 27, '12 by
    Quote from calinurse11
    He SHOT them BOTH off??? One two different occations?
    And people say they don't believe in G'd. Sounds like Divine Intervention to me!
    VivaLasViejas likes this.
  3. Apr 27, '12 by
    Ok, here's another one, REALLY would have liked to have used (and thankfully this scenario doesn't come up for me anymore):

    Patient has had ankle/tibia/knee/etc surgery. Patient requests that nurse or aide wipe his a$$ for him. My thought? "Gosh, I didn't realize they shortened your arms when they did that ORIF of your ankle...you poor thing!"
    DeLanaHarvickWannabe, darriz1, Stardustbowler, and 1 other like this.
  4. Apr 27, '12 by
    I'm in CNA class now and I think my instructor doesn't know how to not say these sorts of things. There is a girl in my class who is easily 300 lbs. We are in the process of learning to take vitals and the instructor always talks about how this girl is going to be difficult because she is so "chunky". The girl doesn't find any humor in it at all, and the instructor doesn't act like she's trying to be funny about it.
  5. Apr 27, '12 by
    Quote from ddunnrn
    This happened to me many years ago when I was a nursing student. I had an older male patient who was rather scruffy, and also incontinent of bowel. To top that, he had some form of cancer that really produced a foul odor. Even so, one gets used to an odor after being surrounded by it for a few hours, and so by lunch time I really didn't smell the bad stuff any more.

    Just when the lunch trays were being brought to the rooms, I was getting really hungry, especially since I hadn't had breakfast, nor any breaks yet that morning. Right when the dietary aides were bringing in a scrumptious smelling hamburger and fries (back when some hospital food wasn't actually bad), the family was coming into the room to visit, their noses wrinkled in barely-disguised disgust at the feces/cancer odor, and I in my hunger delirium say, "Boy, doesn't that smell good?!?"

    Of course the family thought I was crazy, and it took me a few minutes to realize why they reacted that way.
    This is the kind of thing I'm afraid I might say. Lol. Thanks for the laugh. I know I will be laughing at random times when I think about.
  6. Apr 27, '12 by
    to the patient in my first semester of clinical during fundamentals - my god man you stink!!! why do you keep confusing the toilet and the floor!
  7. Guide
    Apr 27, '12 by
    Ah!

    Things we THINK but do NOT say...

    Now, eh hem...

    Even though we have made it perfectly clear that we are only thinking these things and not saying them, I am still waiting for someone to come on here and tells us we are all bad for thinking these things.

    Come on, guys.

    You KNOW it always happens!

    aachavez, Twinmom06, fuzzywuzzy, and 3 others like this.
  8. Guide
    Apr 27, '12 by
    Quote from Hygiene Queen
    Ah!

    Things we THINK but do NOT say...

    Now, eh hem...

    Even though we have made it perfectly clear that we are only thinking these things and not saying them, I am still waiting for someone to come on here and tells us we are all bad for thinking these things.

    Come on, guys.

    You KNOW it always happens!

    ... and if it does happen, are we still playing the drinking game?
    It's Friday and I don't work tomorrow and I've got wine!
    LalaJJB and RNsRWe like this.
  9. Apr 27, '12 by
    Quote from Hygiene Queen
    ... and if it does happen, are we still playing the drinking game?
    It's Friday and I don't work tomorrow and I've got wine!
    I'd say I'm in, but it's nearly midnight now

    But don't worry, one of us is bound to be marked as 'without compassion' shortly!
    LalaJJB and Hygiene Queen like this.
  10. Apr 28, '12 by
    "The constant sight of your angry, discolored, misshapen penis has permanently killed my sex drive."

    To the resident who spends about 78 percent of the time roaming the facility naked and becoming combative when you try to dress him: "Dooo your balls hang low, do they wobble to and fro, can you tie 'em in a knot, can you tie 'em in a bow..."

    To the hateful residents who complain that their families don't call/visit: Well, can you really blame them?

    To the resident who habitually defecates on the floor despite being continent and has the gall to complain that his room smells: Well, no sh!t, why do you think that could be?

    To the family members who ask why their vegetative relative never responds to them: He is blind, deaf, and comatose...but you just missed the nice irish jig and limerick he treated us to before lunch....

    (I should clarify that in this case, it was NOT a new condition, resident had been in this state for about 12 years, family has repeatedly been educated on his condition, family STILL doesn't get it. And still insists that he be classified as a full code...)
    DeLanaHarvickWannabe, Bobmo88, and Cessna172 like this.