The life cycle of a CNA forum member

[fuzzywuzzy]

So a lot of the posts on here can get a little... predictable. From now on just use this handy guide to find out how many more threads to expect from any given member before getting to the good stuff:

1. Joins the site, finds the CNA forum. "Hi everybody my name is FutureNurse123 and I want to work in healthcare in some capacity!" :wlcmhnds:

2. Makes a thread asking what's better: taking the class at a community college, the Red Cross, or a nursing home. Learns that they are all the same. Wants to know if CNA is even right for them. Nobody knows. Oh and by the way, what is the difference between a CNA, NA, STNA, PCT, etc.? Answer: not much. Oh and one more thing- can a boy be a CNA?

3. Complains about instructor and/or classmates. Learns that mean and/or stupid people are EVERYWHERE, including their future place of employment.

4. Reads more posts and decides that the aforementioned Mean People are posting on this very forum! They didn't give me the advice I wanted to hear! And some of the things these people say about their jobs horrifies me. I thought CNAs wanted to help people- they should never complain about anything.

5. Omg! We have to clean up POOP?! Makes a thread requesting information about exactly how much poop and grossness a CNA can expect to run into on a typical day and how to deal with it (um, I don't know... hold your breath and don't look at it Believe me poop is not the grossest thing you will see).

6. Decides that old people are gross and cleaning up poop is not for them. OR, that nursing homes are "depressing" and they're just too sensitive and caring to be exposed to that. Makes a thread asking what other employment they should seek as a CNA. Is told their best option is to get over it.

7. Starts clinicals. Makes a thread about how the CNAs they're following are unfriendly, or too busy to teach them stuff, or they don't do everything by the book, or they're unprofessional in some other way. ***Obviously those CNAs have no business BEING nurse aides in the first place!!!*** As a student, I just *know* that I am going to be the best, most caring and professional CNA around!

8. Finishes the program and starts freaking out about the state test. Asks all kinds of rhetorical and non-rhetorical questions about it. Is told to calm down because it's easy. Learns to speak the steps out loud as they do them and that mistakes are allowed if caught before the skill is over.

9. Passes the test. Easily. Yay! :ancong!:

10. Posts a resume question. ie "I have no experience, so I'm just gonna list every single skill I ever learned in class- should I list Bedmaking AND Occupied Bedmaking?" And by the way, what do I wear to the interview? Oh and also, I'm 8 months pregnant. Can I still apply for the job? Will they find out?

11. Posts a question about how a brand new CNA with no experience can get a hospital job, because as they've already decided, nursing home work is just not for them. And hospital jobs seem SO cool and SO easy! And what do you mean they want experience? How can I get experience if the hospital won't give me a chance? But I don't WANT to work in a nursing home!!!

12. Gets a job. In a nursing home. It's okay, we won't say "I told you so." :) Freaks out about not getting enough training. Is miserable for at least a month. Posts a question asking if they should quit. Is told that every place is the same. Develops a thicker skin and a warped sense of humor. Actually becomes good at the job (hopefully) and learns to like it... sometimes.

13. Posts about lazy, annoying coworkers, lack of supplies, and chit chats about how to make the job easier. Also vents about the residents. Gets told off by a CNA student for doing that.

[blackandyellow]

This post made me laugh. There should be a separate group for CNA students and CNA's like the nursing student groups. I see so much of this on here and so much of it with new CNA's I work with.

[MissMcCoy]

Hahaha

... As a new CNA student ...

I still find this funny!!!

[kool-aide, RN]

I'm one of the lucky ones that got right into the hospital! lol Be jealous! lol

[yousoldtheworld]

No thanks, I hated the hospital, I'm happy at my snf :)

[yousoldtheworld]

The funny thing is, I started out in an LTC and like everyone else, I really wanted to work at the hospital. Then, after a year as an aide, I got hired at the hospital...and I HATED it. THe patients drove me batty, all constantly on their lights for nothing, and it was the only place I have worked where the nurses (and doctors) have consistently disrespected aides for being aides. I worked there a year but was really unhappy.

Then there are a TON of people who love the hospital. Just goes to show that everyone's different, I guess!

[Poi Dog]

Classic, I say

[tigerkate]

I guess I'm on #12, but only.. I got hired at a hospital.

do u tink hospitals hav poop 2?! OMG NO!

[blessedinscrubs]

We have CNA students that come to my facility (nursing home) for clinicals, and they crack me up. They all wear, like, stethoscopes around their necks and carry blood pressure monitors and take 45 minutes to toilet an ambulatory person. Gotta love 'em.

[juliaann]

This is such a great post. I think I went through at least a few of those phases, although not all on allnurses for the internet world to see and laugh at.

[chi449rk]

As someone who is at number 8 on this list, I am very amused by this. I have read some posts by people on here who claim to have their certification and all I can say is that I am grateful that I have made this decision at the age of 48 to change careers. Because I've come to realize that jobs are different, but the dynamics are universal to any job.

When I've managed people in the past, the #1 reason for letting someone go was attendance. If you're hired to work 3-11 and you say that's okay, don't come in two weeks later and ask to be moved to day shifts. How about I move you out the door?

The #2 reason for getting rid of someone was performance. Every job has a training period, manuals, resources to help employees understand the expectations of the job. If you've been trained and you've indicated that you know what you're doing, then I'm going to assume you do. And when it becomes clear that they didn't bother to retain the training, they say it was too hard or there was too much to remember. Bye bye.

Number 3 is my favorite combo. Lack of plain old common sense and under developed emotional IQ. I have been face to face with it in other jobs. And when people are let go or find it hard to advance because of any of these three things, it's because those people are awful.

When we were doing our clinicals, I made sure that I learned the names of the nurses and CNA's on the ward. If I had a question, I waited until they were done with the thing in front of them. I made sure that my question was specific to the patient I was assigned to. When they answered my question I said thank you. When we had time, I would go to them and ask if there was anything they needed help with. When it was time to go at the end of our day, I made sure to thank them for their patience and their help and guidance during the day.

I don't know if any of them will remember me, but I will remember all of them because they made my clinical experience even richer and I feel that I learned a great deal just by talking to them. I'd like to think that even though I was a student, I made those days I was there a little easier.

[Hygiene Queen]

What a funny list. I totally missed it when it was first posted.

I also wonder, too, how someone can find Allnurses on a search engine, but can't seem to find their nearest community college or a CNA class...

So they come here to ask, "Do you know of any schools that offer the CNA class in Ding Dong, Michigan?"

Never mind that, in order to answer that question, we would have to... go to a search engine.

Hmmmm....:anbd:

[fuzzywuzzy, CNA]

LOLing at "Ding Dong, Michigan."

Hey yall I'm from Urinal Cake, Mississippi and I'm about to graduate my CNA program soon. How can I get hired at UC Hospital? Can someone put in a good word for me? I know with all my heart that I'll be the best CNA there, I promise. What can I expect during the physical? I'm in recovery for meth addiction but I swear I haven't used in 3 weeks. Do they drug test? Also, how much is the pay? I'm just wondering because I don't have a car so I'm gonna have to walk the 20 miles to work each day but that shouldn't be a problem right? I ain't never had a job before but my clinicals count as experience right?