Family Making "Elder Abuse" Jokes?'

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  1. This is a discussion on Family Making "Elder Abuse" Jokes?' in CNA/MA - Nursing / Medical Assistant, part of Nursing Student ... Hey all! At the place where I work, a 5 resident adult family home, there is one resident who...

    by Aug 6, '12
    Hey all!

    At the place where I work, a 5 resident adult family home, there is one resident who is on a level of aspirin daily that causes her to bruise very easily. She came back from a trip to the hospital with her arms black and blue from the IVs and when she bumps elbow/arm against the wall at night while in bed it turns her whole upper arm purple! Well, anyway, her family members are always joking around saying stuff like; "Looks like A and T are beating up on you again. Ha ha!" And it's just so inappropriate and I don't think it's funny one bit. I treat all those in my care as if they were my own family and with a thought as to how I'd want to be treated,(and if I suspected the provider of the afh (the only other caregiver on staff), or another resident or family member of abuse of course I would call and report it), but, to make light of something as serious as elder abuse, especially when it could be heard out of context and result in someone getting falsely reported and the fact that people actually are abused and I don't think they think it's something to laugh about. Have any of you been in that situation like I mentioned above or similar? How did you handle it?

    Thanks

    ~Ami
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    by Skayda Aug 6, '12 3:58 pm
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  3. 11 Comments so far...

  4. Aug 6, '12 by
    i agree with you. it's not funny. i've been in violent relationships (both my parents and my ex-husband) and i see no humor at all there. however there are always some morons who will joke about abuse.
    Nurse2bKimberly likes this.
  5. Aug 6, '12 by
    That sounds like my family- we joke about dark stuff. Kind of like the saying "if you don't laugh you'll cry". BUT we would only joke around like that with each other (for instance: I might joke to my mother if she were bruised "Has dad been beating you again?".

    I would never say this in a public place though in case someone thought I was being serious and I think you have a right to be concerned by it.
    IdianaCNA1993 and KaroSnowQueen like this.
  6. Guide
    Aug 6, '12 by
    I would have nicely said something to the family about it not being funny.
  7. Aug 8, '12 by
    Quote from itsmejuli
    I would have nicely said something to the family about it not being funny.
    I agree. Next time it happens that's what I'll do.
  8. Aug 8, '12 by
    Quote from KatieP86
    That sounds like my family- we joke about dark stuff. Kind of like the saying "if you don't laugh you'll cry". BUT we would only joke around like that with each other (for instance: I might joke to my mother if she were bruised "Has dad been beating you again?".

    I would never say this in a public place though in case someone thought I was being serious and I think you have a right to be concerned by it.
    Me and my own family are like that too but there's a time and place for "dry" humor, right?
  9. Aug 9, '12 by
    Quote from Skayda
    Me and my own family are like that too but there's a time and place for "dry" humor, right?
    Totally. Like I said, we never really joke around in public.
  10. Aug 12, '12 by
    I hesitate to ever criticize family unless it's something of dire, immediate importance, like, "Oh, let me help you please" when an old, frail family member is trying to help their spouse with a transfer.

    Instead, I'd say something in a cheerful voice like, "No one's going to hurt you. I want to take good care of all my patients."
  11. Aug 12, '12 by
    The problem with this type of humor is the possibility it could plant a notion in the head of someone with dementia who is hearing a relative talk about how they are being beaten. They might not get the "joke".

    After hearing their son or daughter say it a few times, I could imagine an elderly person being asked how they got these bruises and saying 'Im not sure, so and so was beating on me again I guess', or a roomate who overhead it saying the same thing.
  12. Aug 14, '12 by
    ^Yeah, that's what would make me uncomfortable. Anyone could hear it and take it the wrong way.
    Nurse2bKimberly likes this.