Angry ex-boss and applying for new jobs (Help!)

  1. Hello everyone! :redpinkhe

    I just became a certified nurse aide today! I passed all my skills without making a single error and I am very happy. Prior to taking my exam I applied for several CNA jobs at LTC facilities around my area. Yesterday I recieved a phone call from a wonderful nursing home that I would LOVE to work at. They asked me to come in and apply in person. I did and it went very well. I dressed professionally and was polite and confident and had a big smile on my face.

    Now comes the tricky part... my last job was at a hair salon. I worked there for about 1.5 years. I LOVED the job, except for my boss... I would work 12 hour shifts and I was allowed NO breaks. I would be yelled at if I was quickly inhaling my lunch in the backroom. I had to take the phone with me into the bathroom even! On 2 occasions, my ex-boss pulled me (HARD) by the arm and yanked me around. She treated me like I was her own personal Cinderella and she basically treated me like garbage. She talked down to me, and verbally, and physcially abused me. I came in one day to find that most all of my hours had been given to her best friends daughter who was also a receptionist at the salon. She claimed that she wanted to "help this girl out by giving her more hours." I have at least 1 year of seniority over this girl. She only works during the summer because she goes away to college. (In fact I had the MOST seniority as a receptionist at this salon since so many people quit and have been fired). I told my boss that it was not fair to give my hours to this girl. I ended up telling her that I wanted to give her my 2 weeks notice and she told me not to bother to come back... Well over the next few days after I quit my ex-boss sent my step-dad (former client of hers) rude nasty text messages about me and then a few days later she called him and left a voicemail telling him to come back to see her and that she has openings to cut his hair if he wants it done... SHE IS NUTS!

    Well I have returned to the salon twice with a good friend of mine that gets her hair done there. I came to visit with the stylists and receptionists that I formally worked with, because I really truly loved working with those girls. I went in and tried to avoid my ex-boss but I could feel her glaring at me. She told me I had "some nerve" to come into her salon after calling it a hell hole on facebook... I DID NOT SAY THIS! I even looked back at my facebook to check and I wrote "Finally stood up for myself and quit my job. I deserve to be treated better." She said I commited slander against her salon (She mean libel haha) but I certainly did not. I never mentioned her salon. Only that I was excited to be treated better. She went on and on and I told her 'I am not here to do this, I just want to visit with the stylists'. So needless to say... she HATES me and I am scared that she will say untrue and unkind things about me if a future employer contacts her.

    At the nursing home I applied at today they had me fill out 2 forms that look like they will be mailed to my previous employers asking them to rate me from poor to excellent on a few things (work ethic, punctuality, etc.) I am SO scared that she will ruin this job opportunity for me I worked very hard for her but she treated me badly all along and when I quit and took my mom, step-dad and aunt with me (all of them were her clients and they decided to go elsewhere after finding out what she did to me) she became angry.

    WHAT SHOULD I DO? My mom said to call the nursing home I applied at and explain about my boss... I am not sure if I should do this. I am only 20 and I have had only 2 jobs (they were each long-term). I also worked at a doctors office for over 2 years. I also worked for the doctors office for a short time concurrently with my job at the salon. The people I worked for there were wonderful and I know they would say great things about me if this nursing home sends them a form to fill out about me. I have no experience with this sort of thing. But I thought that it was considered bad to bad mouth a previous employer. Does anyone have any advice for how to deal with a crazy ex-boss?? What would you do? Any experiences to share?

    Thank you all in advance for your help :redpinkhe
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  2. 20 Comments

  3. by   FLArn
    It may be too late now but in the future I would list this job as a "please do not contact" and use the stylists you worked with as references rather than the owner.
    If asked why you do not want them to contact the job you can explain tactfully "I would never say this outside of an interview, but the owner's management style made for a hostile work environment and I could not continue to work for her. However, I can give you the name and number of two of the senior stylists, Janie and Sally."
  4. by   Scarlette Wings
    [font="verdana"]wow, my first thought is how do you stand working for someone under those circumstances for a year and a half? then my second thought is the way she was physically manhandling you i would think why didn't you bring up the topic of assault, battery, and a hostile working environment? it was certainly all of those.
  5. by   NICU Kristen
    Darn... I thought it would be worse if I put "Do not contact" because it would look like I have something to hide. Do you think there is anything I can do now?
  6. by   NICU Kristen
    It was AWFUL. I loved the people I worked with though and by working there I got my hair done for free... sounds petty but I have super blonde hair and I like to get it highlighted every 5 weeks. Also I couldn't afford to quit without having a backup job and I thought I should just stick it out until my mom told me to just quit and that she would help me financially because it just kept getting worse... What should I do about this nursing home I applied to already? I love it there and I really want to work for them.
  7. by   CrunchRN
    I would let the wicked hair salon step mother know that you plan to sue her if she gives a reference that is at all untrue......
  8. by   NICU Kristen
    Maybe I am young and stupid... idk I just kept trying to work harder and I thought it would get better. My schedule there was GREAT and I loved the perks and the rest of the staff. I don't think I could list the other girls there as a reference... they might be too scared that she would fire them or treat them badly if she found out they were helping me in any way.
  9. by   NICU Kristen
    Haha wicked hair salon stepmother is EXACTLY what she is!! I do not know how to do this professionally though. Should I type her a polite letter?? Ugh I wish I had more life experience!!
  10. by   FLArn
    You may be able to ask to attach a request not to contact that employer because you left due to a hostile work environment and if your reference from them has already been sent that you would appreciate them contacting the stylists for a personal reference before making a final decision. They may not accept an addition to your application but it may be worth asking if you are that sure this ex-boss will try to torpedo you.
  11. by   NICU Kristen
    I am unsure of what she might do. But I want to protect myself regardless. Thank you for your advice I think I will try this.
  12. by   caliotter3
    Make every effort you can to counter her influence. I would attempt to have a meeting with the hiring person at the new job to explain yourself. What is the worst that can come of that? At least try. And stay away from that place of business! You have visited your friends, now do not give the owner a reason to call the police and pursue trespassing charges against you. Stay away. Do not further antagonize her. See an attorney to write her the cease and desist letter to keep her from destroying your ability to get a job. It is worth the two or three hundred dollars the attorney would charge to write such a letter.
  13. by   NICU Kristen
    My mom told me to call and try to set something up to explain why I left and that I would not like them to contact this person. I will try that! thanks
  14. by   pagandeva2000
    I would most definitely not show up at that salon again for any reason. If you wish to keep in touch with your former co-workers, there is email and telephones. And, maybe an explanation of some of the horrid conditions you endured may clarify for your employer WHY contacting them may not be a wise idea.

    In the future, see if any of the stylists would be willing to write you a reference letter. It doesn't have to be sent to the old salon...it can be sent to any place that stylist wishes it to be sent, and also, they can contact the stylist via home or cell phone. The potential employer does NOT have to call that shop.

    So sorry you went through this, and pray for better days ahead.

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