Specialties CRNA
Published Mar 12, 2003
Z28BLKCAM
5 Posts
I hope you guys will laugh as much as I did, ENJOY
Laurence
Subject: True M.D. Stories
>
>A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear.
>Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one.
>Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, Texas
>******************************************************************
>At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed.
>"Yes, they used to be," remorsefully replied the patient.
>Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA
>One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.
>Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."
>Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada
>I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Now your left." Again, a flawless read. "Now both," I requested. There was silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line.
>I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam.
>Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA
>****************************************************************** During a patient's two-week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!"
>I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!
>Now the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
>Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA
>While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?"
>After a look of complete confusion she answered .... "Why, not for about twenty years -- when my husband was alive."
>Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR
>I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So, how's your breakfast this morning?"
>"It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied.
>I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."
>Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI
>And the winner is...
>A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
>The middle-aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?"
>She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.'"
dingofred
45 Posts
:chuckle :chuckle :chuckle
Jedav
59 Posts
Z28,
I don't have any stories...but wanted to thank you for making me laugh (really hard) at the end of a long day...I loved all of them, but especially the last one!!!
thanks,
Jamie:roll :roll
frannybee
267 Posts
I'm loving the wiener line! :chuckle