True MD Stories.....Any of you MDA's/CRNA's/SRNA's have any stories to share....

  1. 0
    I hope you guys will laugh as much as I did, ENJOY


    Laurence


    Subject: True M.D. Stories
    >
    >A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear.
    >
    >Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one.
    >
    >Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, Texas
    >************************************************* *****************
    >At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed.
    >
    >"Yes, they used to be," remorsefully replied the patient.
    >
    >Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA
    >
    >************************************************* *****************
    >One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.
    >
    >Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."
    >
    >Dr. Susan Steinberg, Manitoba, Canada
    >************************************************* *****************
    >I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, "Cover your right eye with your hand." He read the 20/20 line perfectly. "Now your left." Again, a flawless read. "Now both," I requested. There was silence. He couldn't even read the large E on the top line.
    >
    >I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both his eyes covered. I was laughing too hard to finish the exam.
    >
    >Dr. Matthew Theodropolous, Worcester, MA
    >************************************************* ***************** During a patient's two-week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!"
    >
    >I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!
    >
    >Now the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
    >
    >Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk, VA
    >************************************************* *****************
    >While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How long have you been bedridden?"
    >
    >After a look of complete confusion she answered .... "Why, not for about twenty years -- when my husband was alive."
    >
    >Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR
    >************************************************* *****************
    >I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So, how's your breakfast this morning?"
    >
    >"It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste," the patient replied.
    >
    >I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."
    >
    >Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit, MI
    >************************************************* *****************
    >
    >And the winner is...
    >
    >A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
    >
    >The middle-aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?"
    >
    >She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.'"
  2. 3 Comments so far...

  3. 0
    :chuckle :chuckle :chuckle
  4. 0
    Z28,

    I don't have any stories...but wanted to thank you for making me laugh (really hard) at the end of a long day...I loved all of them, but especially the last one!!!


    thanks,

    Jamie:roll :roll
  5. 0
    I'm loving the wiener line! :chuckle


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