Thru program w/ children

  1. I have 4 children ages 16, 7, 2 and 6mo (!) and was trying to figure out which 2 years of their life would be the best time to attend CRNA school. (I know it would have been best BEFORE I had them, but I didnt). So to those of you who have done it, any pearls of wisdom? To those of you who are planning it, what is your line of thinking about this?

    I feel as if I have only one window of opportunity and thats in 5 years when they are all in school but then my 7yo will be 12 and those are critical years leading up to the 'very influential' 14 that I would want to steer her most on the straight and narrow. I just cant figure out when the best time would be. I love being a mom but I desperately want to become a CRNA once I can figure out a well thought out plan. I am a stay-at-home mom now but previous experience in CCU, CSICU, PACU so its just a matter of getting back in the ICU a year or two before applying (and other things to make me an attractive applicant!)

    If Idont live near family when the time comes, Im thinking about hiring a nanny. It will just be too much for my husband b/c I told him he will feel like a single parent.

    Ive heard of some still living at home with their families and others who got apartments. I am open to any thoughts on this matter.
    Rhonda
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  2. 40 Comments

  3. by   big sweet life
    Rhon,
    I hear you! When I plan to apply to CRNA school , minor detail of getting BSN first, my kids'll be 3,5, & 7. I'm already planning..err..wondering...how will I do it. Where there's a will, there's awy as they say...I need input!
  4. by   Brenna's Dad
    I thought long and hard about this before heading back to school.

    I have two kids aged 6 and 2. Having worked with many mothers , it was my perception that they seemed the busiest in the adolescent years. Driving kids here and there, etc. etc.

    So for me the decision bacame easy; go abck now while the kids are still young.
  5. by   Rhon1991
    Yes, I definately would not want to be in school when they hit middle school and high school. I would really really like to be done with school and working part time as CRNA by then!

    Sweet Life, Im glad to see there are others out there like me! Thats why I tell my 16yo, do all that you want first, then get married and have kids. But sometimes, best laid plans.....
  6. by   Qwiigley
    I am the minority, but it is my opinion and it is valid. I personally believe that you should either be a mother or a person in the workforce. I feel that at least one parent should stay home with the kids. Period. Doesn't matter which parent. Your children are the most important thing in the world, not your career. Sorry, but that is a valid opinion that most people just don't want to hear.
  7. by   Espresso girl!
    Qwiigley, I too agree with your statement. I believe choosing to focus on yourself with an intensive scholastic program will greatly detract from a child's personal growth and development. When you sign on to be a parent it is not a job that you can abandon for a few years, whenever your personal goals are completed. As a mom you are responsible for laying the foundation of that person's life. Society and that person suffer greatly when this job has not been done in accordance with basic human needs. For the sake of your children, I would urge you to choose them first. Your decision will reward you down the road when you are surrounded with well-adjusted, kind, grown
    children. When that job is done you can work on yourself!

    Espresso Girl
  8. by   KC CHICK
    Qwuiigley and Espresso girl....
    You think these parents are just thinking of themselves??! That sounds rather judgemental to me. These parents are NOT being selfish by any means.

    Maybe by going through the program for 2-3 years, they can secure a better financial future for themselves AND THEIR KIDS. Did you happen to think of that? The costs of living increase every year as well as the cost of your children's future college education. By taking the time to go through these couple of years of the CRNA program, they will be more financially able to provide for their children. Theoretically, more family vacations can be taken on a CRNA's salary...that means more time spent with the kids.

    There is also a role model aspect here....these children will see what can be accomplished when you set your mind to it. To see a parent earn a Master's degree and graduate could be a great learning experience for that child. Show them what it means to be a strong, hard working individual that finishes what you start. Show them what kind of work and dedication it takes to be successful in today's working world. My best friend and her husband went through nursing school together...at the same time!!! Their daughter suffered no ill effects from her parents both working and going to school full time for 2-3 years. She is well-adjusted and plans on going to college herself.

    I plan on going through a CRNA program. My husband and my parents will support me and help with any children that come along between now and that time. A lot can be accomplished, without detrimental psychological risk to your children, when there is family support available. (husband or others)

    Qwuiigly, to say that one parent from each household should stay home w/the kids is a very unrealistic statement to be making in our world today. Look around you. There are more SINGLE parents raising children now than ever before. By your standards, does this mean that those parents shouldn't be supporting their families by holding a job and working outside the home? Granted, my hubby would love to become a stay-at-home dad when I get through the program. But, it's just not realistic to assume that everyone that has kids has the means to stay home full time to raise them.

    Good luck to you all in the program!
    Anne
    Last edit by KC CHICK on Dec 5, '02
  9. by   dianacs
    You know, if it was a man or possibly a single woman asking this, few people would question it. Instead, they'd say "how wonderful that you're doing this"; "when you become a CRNA you'll be able to pay for your kids' college educations"; "you're going to give your family a better standard of living", etc. But married women with kids are not supposed to have career aspirations, I guess. Or only those that can be fulfilled during the kids' school hours--whatever. There are so many ways to realize your ambitions work if you plan for it. It's not a black-and-white thing either. Working and going to school does not automatically mean harm; nor does staying at home automatically mean benefit.
    Last edit by dianacs on Dec 5, '02
  10. by   KC CHICK
    I wonder why that is, Dianacs. Strange.
    Didn't realize that by getting married and having career aspirations at the same time mean that I'm going to have mal-adjusted children in the future. Geez, I'm gonna have to start a 'bail money' fund instead of a college fund, huh? Good thing my hubby is a cop!
    I thought we'd come a lot further in equality and away from those bare-footed kitchen stereotypes of years ago. Guess I was wrong.

    Anne:chuckle
    Last edit by KC CHICK on Dec 5, '02
  11. by   dianacs
    Can you imagine that I WANT to work even though I don't have to? What's wrong with ME? Back to the kitchen I must go!

    Ugh, these discussions...
  12. by   KC CHICK
    I hear ya!! :chuckle
    You'd think that more people would support a decision like this, or like yours even. If I didn't work, I'd end up in a looney bin somewhere. Couldn't be in the house 24/7. Have to go, go, go!!!

    Anne
  13. by   New CCU RN
    Although I am not yet a parent myself.... I have to agree with those who are saying that it is possible to make it through school being a mom. I watched my mother get both her BS and MS in electrical engineering. She got both degrees with a 3.9 from a great school. Not to mention she finished up her BS in three years rather than four.

    She also was the mother to six children in the process and did a great job with all of us. I am the oldest and seeing her so motivated to get ahead (she is now working on her PhD) has served as an inspiration and has helped all of us kids truly understand the value of education.

    We are all well adjusted. There were no negative outcomes for any of us as we watched her focus on both school and us. How can it be healthy to be only focused on one thing? ie) just being the barefoot housewife????

    By the way, the year she graduated with her MS in EE was when I graduated HS, one of my brothers graduated junior high...and the twins graduated from elementary school...we all had a big party together...

    Needless to say, I have to agree that having kids does not end your life or your career aspirations...why do people constantly assume that a woman should just stop her life bc she has a kid? Reality check...it is the 21st century right?:chuckle :chuckle :chuckle
    Last edit by New CCU RN on Dec 5, '02
  14. by   London88
    Dianacs you are absolutely right! I have 4 children. I chose to go to CRNA school to provide them with a better future, and not just to better "myself" Perhaps after I hit the lottery I will consider the full time at home "mom" position that was mentioned in some of the other posts. We all have different values as to what makes a good parent and I am going to assume that some of the opinions mentioned above serve the needs of those who are voicing these opinions. I take issue with anybody who believes they have a right to tell me what is best for my kids in terms of my parenting them! Many times I get asked at work "how do you manage to work fulltime, take care of four kids, and study at the same time?" I simply reply that we manage just fine, because it is none of their business how I run my household.

    Rhon1991 you definetely can have children and be in CRNA school. When I start clinicals next year i will not be working so that I am available to be with my kids in the evening. There is always the option of the three year route which is what I am doing. I am taking most of the core credits required by the university prior to beginning my clinicals next year. If I did not have children I would have done everything in a two year period. I deliberately chose this route so that I can still be a mother to my kids ( by the way they are doing just fine!). I have a friend who did it as a single parent with three kids. Yes she was stressing out from time to time but she made it. Now she is in a positioon where she can secure a better future for her kids.

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