I could not figure out any other way to respond to your last SRNA post, so I am starting a new thread. If there is a better way, please let me know.
Concerning your 10/2/02 post, I appreciate your honesty, but I would not be so hard on myself if I were you. Mainly, because I feel what you are going through is very common in grad. school, especially, in the medical training programs. I base that on talking to many med. students who express almost the exact types of feelings during their first sem. You can also see the same views expressed on the student doctor network, concerning first sem. experiences. As a matter of fact, I can't tell you how many times people have told me that they really doubted whether they would be able to get through there first sem. of med school and this usaully happened right after the first series of exams. It seems that most students take awhile to figure out the best way to handle the curriculum and then do fine. I have no doubt that you will also figure it out and get pass the learning curve of during real well as oppose to just being average. Now having said that, I am sure when you are the one experiencing the learning curve it must be hard for all the reasons you stated in your post. But keep the faith in the process and keep sharing your experiences and insights. I know I really enjoy your post. And in a sadistic way I am looking forward to anesth. school even though I know it will be hard as hell, but what is the alternative? I don't feel like I would be fulfilled doing any other type of clinical nursing besides anesth. nursing. I really have not enjoyed bedside nursing and I have worked in SICU, ER, and MICu. I like the challenge of critical care but hate the grunt work, lack of respect and relative low pay, especially compared to what physicians make. I have worked in a level one trauma teaching hospital and enjoy about as much autonomy as you can get as a RN, but still have a desire for much more.
Oct 3, '02
Thanks for the encouragement, I know I must have sounded pretty dark in my entry, I am feeling a great deal better, but I don't feel the need hold myself back in my blog. I put up that entry right after said test, and so I just wanted to vent.
I think I feel better putting out my true feelings on my blog, and secondarily if my blog helps anyone all the better.
In the future you can personal message me here on allnurses, or email me at account srna at nilepoc dot com
replace at with @ and dot with . I do that to prevent spambots from harvesting my address.