LMAO - Holy cow, hope you feel better now!
There are good secretaries out there but reading your post makes me realize why I'm so appreciated at my current job.
I always run interference on phone calls from lab/pharmacy/staffing/supervisor/families/even doctors when I can. I've been there long enough that a lot of the doctors will just ask me for their pts lab and rads results rather than wait for a nurse. Depending on the nurse in question, some of the docs would rather talk to me. I assign beds, keep track of the census, attend bed briefing, run to lab/blood bank/pharmacy/css/other departments if we need something quickly or just for routine stuff if I'm not busy. I order all of the office supplies for the floor, deal with nursing administration, environmental services, set up discharges, arrange transport and try to take as much off of the nurses that as possible. There is no FB or Ebay - If I'm slow, I ask the nurses what I can do to help them out. If there's nothing, then I read through pt charts, go through lab results, etc.
I will not, however, go out of my way to help nurses that treat me like crap on a regular basis. The nurses who see me struggling with 4 phone lines ringing, multiple pt calls going off, a list of docs to put calls out to, 10 charts in the rack, and 5 people at the desk and come up to me and stand next to a pager list and telephone and tell me they need me to page respiratory for a treatment for room XXX then throw a big dramatic fit when I tell them that I can't at the moment, but if it can wait to put it on the list telling me that I just sit up there and don't do anything anyways and do I want to pass their meds for them... Who proceed to SIT THERE AND WATCH ME PUT THE PAGE OUT FOR THEM when I get so annoyed that I stop everything else that I'm doing just to get them away from me. The ones that want me to clock back in while I'm on my way out the door to put their new stat transfusion orders into the computer when they're perfectly capable. The nurses that complained to management when I'd study for A&P exams that I had in the am during my down time while they sat at the desk bs-ing, texting, and on Facebook on their phones - THOSE nurses can deal with their own family calls, pharmacy/lab/radiology bs (CT: "is the pt NPO? Site/gauge of the IV?" Pharmacy: "Does this say BID or QID?", Lab: "Does the doctor REALLY want this drawn now? It's a send out, anyways", Family: "I keep calling and he's not answering - Why?", Doctor: "Has this consult seen the pt yet?", staffing: "what's your census?")
PHEW - I feel better now!!!