Never thought working in a doc's office would make me gag!!(graphic, for nurses only!

I don't know what was grosser the thought of that big wad of sputum or the thought of you upchucking your lunch of spinach tortalini and mushroom sauce!

no one --but nurses--could eat and relate stories like that one--my stomach didn't tumble at all --- i was thinking of how i would have tried to separate it!!!!!!!!!

You guys are so funny!

The lunch did sound good!

Yikes....did it jump out and eat your flesh!!!!!!!
How gross!!

You guys would appreciate the humor of Dr. Doug Farrago, who writes the Placebo Journal. Check it out www.placebojournal.com

This prankster doc (not Doug; one of his readers) decided to play a joke on his office nurses one day.

He did a lot of proctoscopies/sigmoidoscopies in his office, and parts of the anoscope/sigmoidoscope were plastic, and disposable. The nurses would set up the tray for him, and, once it was used, he would clean everything up. If he didn't, they would not so gently remind him to get in there and do so.

Well, one day, one of the nurses set up the tray, and it was all ready, but for whatever reason he did not perform the procedure on the patient, but sent her on her way.

He took out some orange-brown sweet and sour sauce packets left over from a drug rep luncheon, and smeared them all over the clean, unused plastic anoscope and sigmoidoscope. He then left the mess scattered all over the counter, and left the room.

One of his nurses went in, then came out and loudly told him to go clean up the disgusting mess he had left, as it was not in her job description to do so.

He sheepishly went back in, and, as she watched with her arms crossed and scowling, he proceeded to LICK the anoscope and sigmoidoscope, saying, "ummmmm." He then walked out of the room, carrying them and licking them and smacking his lips in front of all the rest of his staff that happened to walk by.

What a character! I cannot even imagine the horror on their faces--they must have thought their boss had finally lost it.

Goodness,
These poor girls really had to fight hard for this one ! I admire their courage ! Yes, as nurses we really see, smell, experience many things that most people would rather die than to do. But...someone's gotta do it !
As my nursing instructor told me many years ago....
EVERYTHING WASHES OFF !!
Remember: WE'D ALL BE WORSE WITHOUT A NURSE !! Bye :hatparty:

I had a patient last week who had to have a stool culture done, and of course, as his nurse, I was the one who had to collect it. Routine for me, but my poor patient was standing there, gagging and apologizing, as he watched me scoop some poop into the specimen container. He said, "Honey, I wouldn't have your job no matter HOW much they paid me---how can you DO that?!"

You really can never explain to a non-nurse how much it doesn't bother most of us, but I did the best I could: "Oh, Larry, this is NOTHING compared with some of the stuff I deal with!". If they only knew.......

Yea, it reminds me of the time a mom brought in a ziplock full of worms that her kid had passed! Fun! Scarlett

Yep! only a nurse can read this sort of stuff and still keep his/her food firmly in it's place. It's a hard job doing so though, often times tears have been streaming down my face trying.

I remember working in colorectal surgery. Once the surgeon has dissected the offending part of colon, he would hand it to us floor nurses clamps intact, and we would have to prepare the specimen before going the lab. We always knew what was going on NEXT DOOR if we were on lunchbreak. When the clamps came off, the odour would permeate nicely through to the room we were all sitting having our lunch. I would often sit there and think jeeeeeeeez, and that's after prep.

I am not good with sputum though, or suctioning, never have been. We have a patient who needs suctioning from his laryngectomy site quite a lot, and lately due to his ongoing illness, it's like chewing gum, and you have to tweeze it from the stoma site, I'm talking large thick and long globules, that never seem to end(this is making me retch). The other day it looked exactly like a brandy snap(sorry folks, but I'm suffereing too), completely occluding his stoma site with holes in it, the same colour and everything. Normally, I adore brandy snaps, but this was just wrong, I'll never eat another one again!!!!!!!!!!However, I managed to keep a straight face, and smile and apologise to this man for the obvious discomfort he is in when we do suction. I didn't have lunch that day. There just wasn't any point. Give me doo doo(any consistency or smell) pee pee(any colour or smell) piles of vomit(not too much sputum), and I'm there.

BUT I DO dread every time this poor gentlemans buzzer goes off.