Never thought working in a doc's office would make me gag!!(graphic, for nurses only! - page 3

Okay, so this took the cake today and I tell this story here because I know that as fellow nurses no one will make a mess on their keyboards upon reading this. I thought I was going to die. I... Read More

  1. by   Shellsie
    isnt it funny how nurses can eat lunch and discuss specimens and vomit and colors of things.....have you ever accidently started talking about something with your non-nurse friends and been given that look...that "ohmygoshnotwhileimeating" look?
  2. by   RN-PA
    I loved and LOL'd at your story, Laura!

    Our WOC nurse (wound/ostomy) gave a lecture a while back and combined it with a simple catered lunch. Around 30 nurses sat and watched some absolutely gruesome slides of Stage IV pressure ulcers and other gory wounds as the WOC RN narrated. I looked around and laughed to myself as I watched everyone placidly chewing pasta salad and sandwiches, nobody batting an eyelash.

    I've also read threads like, "What freaks you out the most" on allnurses all the while eating and guffawing when reading the most disgusting and unbelievable descriptions.
  3. by   VivaLasViejas
    Yep, I'm sitting here eating chicken strips while reading this thread and thinking about the poor old fellow whose stool I guaiac'ed last night. The patient was on heparin protocol, which calls for guaiacs on all stools, but nobody had done one on the previous THREE stools for some reason; I only did it because as the PRN nurse, I'd taken the pt. to the bathroom and caught a huge, tarry, black, foul-smelling poop. It was the kind you really don't need to test because the aroma and appearance are diagnostic in themselves, but I did it for documentation purposes and passed the info on to the pt's nurse. I also checked his labs and--no surprise here--his H&H had dropped since admission. Well, about 3 hours elapsed between the time I did the guaiac and the MD came in to make rounds.......she was absolutely furious that nobody had done the guaiacs, and to make matters worse the pt's nurse had waited until she came in to tell her about the (+) test! Then the doc asked me what had given me the idea to guaiac the stool in the first place (DUH, heparin protocol + stool characteristics + years of nursing experience!!) and almost gagged as I described it. I guess we all have our areas of weakness.......even MDs!
  4. by   laurasc
    Originally posted by Shellsie
    isnt it funny how nurses can eat lunch and discuss specimens and vomit and colors of things.....have you ever accidently started talking about something with your non-nurse friends and been given that look...that "ohmygoshnotwhileimeating" look?
    Oh yeah! I've actually had friends go pale then green on me. :chuckle

    RN-PA my dad knew I was nurse material as early as my student years when I sat down to supper and proceeded to describe (in detail) an infected wound I had to pack that day. (no one else was eating, I got home after supper) My dad couldn't believe that I was talking like that AND eating. I looked at my plate, shrugged and continued my description.

    mjlrn97 you KNOW your description is really good when you can make a fellow health care professional gag!!!:roll

    Laura
  5. by   nursedawn67
    I don't know what was grosser the thought of that big wad of sputum or the thought of you upchucking your lunch of spinach tortalini and mushroom sauce!
  6. by   pwp1289
    no one --but nurses--could eat and relate stories like that one--my stomach didn't tumble at all --- i was thinking of how i would have tried to separate it!!!!!!!!!
  7. by   S.N. Visit
    :chuckle You guys are so funny!

    The lunch did sound good!
  8. by   Thunderwolf
    Yikes....did it jump out and eat your flesh!!!!!!!
    How gross!!
  9. by   stevierae
    You guys would appreciate the humor of Dr. Doug Farrago, who writes the Placebo Journal. Check it out www.placebojournal.com

    This prankster doc (not Doug; one of his readers) decided to play a joke on his office nurses one day.

    He did a lot of proctoscopies/sigmoidoscopies in his office, and parts of the anoscope/sigmoidoscope were plastic, and disposable. The nurses would set up the tray for him, and, once it was used, he would clean everything up. If he didn't, they would not so gently remind him to get in there and do so.

    Well, one day, one of the nurses set up the tray, and it was all ready, but for whatever reason he did not perform the procedure on the patient, but sent her on her way.

    He took out some orange-brown sweet and sour sauce packets left over from a drug rep luncheon, and smeared them all over the clean, unused plastic anoscope and sigmoidoscope. He then left the mess scattered all over the counter, and left the room.

    One of his nurses went in, then came out and loudly told him to go clean up the disgusting mess he had left, as it was not in her job description to do so.

    He sheepishly went back in, and, as she watched with her arms crossed and scowling, he proceeded to LICK the anoscope and sigmoidoscope, saying, "ummmmm." He then walked out of the room, carrying them and licking them and smacking his lips in front of all the rest of his staff that happened to walk by.

    What a character! I cannot even imagine the horror on their faces--they must have thought their boss had finally lost it.
    Last edit by stevierae on Jan 13, '05
  10. by   laurasc
    LOL!!!

    That reminds me of the joke an orderly played on my head nurse years and years ago. He filled a urine cup with apple juice and left it on the counter for the lab to pick up. When the HN was standing nearby he picked up the cup, opened it and downed the whole thing. The HN nearly fainted.



    Quote from stevierae
    You guys would appreciate the humor of Dr. Doug Farrago, who writes the Placebo Journal. Check it out www.placebojournal.com

    This prankster doc (not Doug; one of his readers) decided to play a joke on his office nurses one day.

    He did a lot of proctoscopies/sigmoidoscopies in his office, and parts of the anoscope/sigmoidoscope were plastic, and disposable. The nurses would set up the tray for him, and, once it was used, he would clean everything up. If he didn't, they would not so gently remind him to get in there and do so.

    Well, one day, one of the nurses set up the tray, and it was all ready, but for whatever reason he did not perform the procedure on the patient, but sent her on her way.

    He took out some orange-brown sweet and sour sauce packets left over from a drug rep luncheon, and smeared them all over the clean, unused plastic anoscope and sigmoidoscope. He then left the mess scattered all over the counter, and left the room.

    One of his nurses went in, then came out and loudly told him to go clean up the disgusting mess he had left, as it was not in her job description to do so.

    He sheepishly went back in, and, as she watched with her arms crossed and scowling, he proceeded to LICK the anoscope and sigmoidoscope, saying, "ummmmm." He then walked out of the room, carrying them and licking them and smacking his lips in front of all the rest of his staff that happened to walk by.

    What a character! I cannot even imagine the horror on their faces--they must have thought their boss had finally lost it.
  11. by   Keepstanding
    Goodness,
    These poor girls really had to fight hard for this one ! I admire their courage ! Yes, as nurses we really see, smell, experience many things that most people would rather die than to do. But...someone's gotta do it !
    As my nursing instructor told me many years ago....
    EVERYTHING WASHES OFF !! :chuckle
    Remember: WE'D ALL BE WORSE WITHOUT A NURSE !! Bye :hatparty:
  12. by   VivaLasViejas
    I had a patient last week who had to have a stool culture done, and of course, as his nurse, I was the one who had to collect it. Routine for me, but my poor patient was standing there, gagging and apologizing, as he watched me scoop some poop into the specimen container. He said, "Honey, I wouldn't have your job no matter HOW much they paid me---how can you DO that?!" :chuckle

    You really can never explain to a non-nurse how much it doesn't bother most of us, but I did the best I could: "Oh, Larry, this is NOTHING compared with some of the stuff I deal with!". If they only knew.......
  13. by   nursescar
    Quote from jnette
    So TRUE, Ratched !!! those were EXACTLY my thoughts..."hmmmmm, that sure sounds good.. wonder where I could get that around here..?"

    And yes, Belinda, all the while munching on a packet of Ritz Crackers...

    So Laura.. have you fully recovered ?
    Yea, it reminds me of the time a mom brought in a ziplock full of worms that her kid had passed! Fun! Scarlett

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