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- by Bloomgirl118 Jan 9Does anybody else on here ever feel like you would love it if there was a "Not Helpful" button on a post right next to the "Like" button?
I'm not trying to be negative by any means, I just don't understand the point of some comments. I've seen more than a few lately in response to someone being frustrated or upset that don't address the reason for the frustration or what's behind them being upset. What it ends up boiling down to is "you sound whiny and will be a bad nurse, get out now" or "wow, I wouldn't want you around, get out of nursing". What is the point in that? It's not helpful, it's not considerate of the other people on this board, and it just makes me wonder why you come to a board that's meant to help others.
Obviously this is not directed to every person or poster out there, I guess I would just love to see a lot more positivity around here. Can't we all just get along?
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- Jan 9 by MeriwhenAs someone who has run their own non-nursing forum since the start of the internet...I've seen a "dislike" or "not helpful" or "negative karma" button (I'll use "dislike" as a blanket term) do more harm than good. A lot of the time someone takes it personally when they receive a "dislike" on a post. Or clashing members may use it as a weapon against each other, especially if the number of "likes" and "dislikes" a person has is listed or ranked in any way.
Such a button would lead to increasing bad blood and tensions, more so than your (general) just putting a post/poster on "ignore." Which, BTW, any member can easily do if they are bothered by another member's postings.
However, AN is not my forum, and I only speak for myself, so do not consider this an official statement in any way. You may be better off asking about this in the Admin Help Desk where you can talk to Brian and the senior staff.
Though to be honest...out there, there are going to be people who are negative because unfortunately, life is negative at times. Nursing is not all hearts and flowers...wish it could be, but the reality is that it's not. And often the reason it's not is due to factors outside of the nurse's control. People need to realize that.
There are going to be those who are here to vent. People are going to be critical. People are going to be blunt. It's often easier and safer to come here--where one can be fairly anonymous--and let out the pent-up frustrations, than to do so in person or on Facebook because coworkers and employers are notoriously unfair. It's also safer here to be blunt and honest in the feedback.
You can't control how other people think, feel...or post. So if you see something that is negative, just skip over it. Debookmark the thread. Ignore it and/or the poster. Remind yourself that it's the internet and it all goes away when you turn the computer off. If you get criticism, no one says you have to agree with it: take whatever you feel is helpful from it and ignore the rest.
But if you feel something is abusive or against TOS, then definitely report it and it will be looked at because abuse is not tolerated. But keep in mind that "blunt", "honest" and "reality" are not necessarily "abusive."Last edit by Meriwhen on Jan 9
- Jan 9 by Bloomgirl118Quote from MeriwhenI agree. Trust me, this was written with the full realization that a "Not Helpful" button probably wouldn't change a thing but rather that many times we need to think before we speak (type). Too many times the anonymity of the web allows people to get out their frustrations and release them in a way that hurts others, which they would never do face to face. Writing this post was my way of saying "please, let's try to first do no harm".But if you feel something is abusive or against TOS, then definitely report it and it will be looked at because abuse is not tolerated. But keep in mind that "blunt", "honest" and "reality" are not necessarily "abusive."
Regarding your last statement I think that too many people hide behind the "I'm blunt" or "I tell it like it is" when in reality they're just being cruel and unhelpful. While they may not violate the TOS, they certainly aren't helping anyone and that's just not necessary.
One thing my nursing program has emphasized over and over again is the need to do away with horizontal violence and for nurses to stop eating their young. I think it would be great if we could do that on the web as well.
- Jan 9 by Esme12I agree with everything that has been said.....But I think in all areas of life....we could afford to be kinder. I think many of these responses are a sign of the time....frustration over a bad economy, stress over money, wanting to or thought they could retire and can't.....sold a bunch of goods about a nursing shortage, accumulated TONS of debt to be a "nurse" like the nurses on TV or in the Johnson and Johnson commercials and nursing is so far from that truth. Working under the conditions and being told that they are instantly replaceable and having no support what so ever.......cause stress and dissatisfaction....fear.
People responses/reactions reflect this stress.
Humanity is messy. People are messy. Life is messy. When people are frightened, injured, frustrated overwhelmed.....they strike out. They can't strike out at the Doctor because they are afraid the doctor won't help them any more. They strike out at nurses because we will care for them whether they are "good" or "bad". Many who have gone into the profession in the last few years are not being given a real depiction of what nursing really is......messy, dirty, hard, gritty, powerless, demanding, but at the same time it can be empowering.
In part, I believe, is the nursing curriculum and the focus being turned away from the bedside and how to be a bedside nurse. New grads enter the nursing field with no clue how to function....through no fault of their own. There are bridge programs that do not even contain clinicals except for a big "competency" exam at the end.....this does not have the result of a new grad able to step out running and hospitals are no longer wanting to spend the money to train them.
Mostly because......Many of them leave in a short period of time.......Many are "using" nursing as a "stepping stone" to bigger and better salaries like CRNA or NP never really wanting nor having the passion to be a bedside nurse. A bedside nurse is not a glamorous job. It is brutal, honest, scary, overwhelming, hostile, sad.......ugly. But it is also rewarding, fullfilling, honest, happy, touching.....beautiful. It's just that people don't feel compelled to share those beautiful moments. Now the unhappy ones.....they will tell 50 people.....just to get it off their chest. Hence....it seems like a lot of mean unhappy people.
I believe all this brow beating by administration, patients, families, MD's......leads to frustration and anger. The buck stops for all levels at the NURSE....she is your last line of care and defense. New grads enter the field with no one willing to help and in turn they are not willing to help the next....and the cycle begins. When I graduated .....back in the ice age.....we depended on each other. I reselected experience and was taught how to be a good RN by the best LPN I had ever met. But people in general had manners.
I do believe that the anonymity of the internet give people more "freedom" to say what they think...for they do not have to face the consequences or reaction. They don't have to deal with the visual result of hurting someone feelings. It's a sterile environment. You also need to remember that although I believe that AN has mostly nurse, nursing professional, students, teachers administrators......allnurses is an anonymous site and is public.....we also have patients, the general public, and those who just want to stir up trouble...never knowing what it really means to be a nurse.
I think you reap what you sow. You attract what you give. I am one the the peacemakers here but I like that....there are two side to every story...there are burdens that people bear that make them respond the way they do that you may never know. Are they Ill?.......have they just been told they have cancer? Are they going through a divorce? Were they laid off or fired? Were they just kicked in the teeth by an outraged teen full of attitude and alcohol....or no alcohol to make it worse.
Like my tag line....No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
- Jan 9 by Esme12I posted this in another spot my favourite poem....being a nurse means by melodie chenevert
Being A Nurse Means…You will never be bored.You will always be frustrated.You will be surrounded by challenges,So much to do and so little time.You will carry immense responsibility And limited authority.You will step into people’s livesAnd you will make a differenceSome will bless you,Some will curse you.You will see people at their worstAnd at their best.You will never cease to be amazedAt people’s capacity for Love, courage, and endurance.You will experience resounding triumphsAnd devastating failures.You will cry a lot,You will laugh a lot,You will know what it is to be human,And to be humane.
- Jan 16 by nursel56I relate, Esme! After a while the negativity wears away at me, but with me the worst is sort of a slow erosion from reading those posts where I'll start to feel really down and not realize exactly where it came from. Lately, for some reason the posts that say something like "I don't even know why I'm reading this thread" are just bugging me!!
Those posts that create in me a big blast of indignation and an initial impulse to roll out the big guns are actually easier for me to deal with, because the cause and effect is so obvious.
Today I read another post from a 30 yr career nurse who was pushed out of her job and another in a post that replied to that one. I kept trying to think of supportive things to say, I'd put my fingers at the ready to type, and I just had nothing. I couldn't think of anything. Not even the "no advice, just hugs because it sucks" message felt real. Sigh . . .
I do agree with Meriwhen in general about the "not helpful" button. I think it might end up being used to create more mayhem than it would fix, because it's hard to imagine a recipient of such a down vote thoughtfully reflecting on their behavior . . .
- Jan 16 by TheCommuterWay back in the day (years ago), Allnurses.com did have a reputation system where members could give positive reps to helpful posts and negative reps to unhelpful posts. The system did not last due to the hard feelings that resulted among the membership.
- Jun 17 by Bloomgirl118Quote from TheCommuterI could definitely see that getting out of hand and hurting feelings. I guess I really just wanted people to know that positivity is so much more helpful than negativity. :-)Way back in the day (years ago), Allnurses.com did have a reputation system where members could give positive reps to helpful posts and negative reps to unhelpful posts. The system did not last due to the hard feelings that resulted among the membership.
- Jun 17 by nursel56This software has options I'm constantly learning about. The "reputation" system is plain awful to me. They use it on one of the Facebook game forums I visit sometimes. What happens is that someone who has a complaint, no matter how respectfully it's written gets voted down by people who perceive it as an attack on the developers they've become "friends" with. As a result a user can end up with all of their questions in some sort of purgatory before anyone sees them. To me that's unfair and unnecessary.