My Name is Susan

I am an RN who's also a recovering(ed) alcoholic. I've found the judgmental attitudes of colleagues taking care of addicted patients disturbing. The purpose of this article is to, perhaps, get nurses to realize how powerful attitude can be when taking care of an addicted patient. Nurses Announcements Archive Article

My name is Susan, and I'm an alcoholic. I'm also a registered nurse, hold a bachelor's degree in Human Services, and a Masters in Human Service Administration. I have diabetes, a cirrhotic liver, and haven't had a drink in fourteen years. And, in spite of my continued sobriety, accomplishments, and dedication to working in the helping professions, I am still considered a social pariah by many. I continually ask myself why the judgment cast on those with addictions by those who have dodged that genetic bullet is so harsh as to be venomous. I still can't seem to come up with an answer.

I'm not one to be shy about sharing the fact of my alcoholic history. I was a very functional alcoholic, never lost a job, got a DUI, had a marriage break up or any of the hundreds of things that one typically thinks of as "normal" for someone who drinks as much as I did. My consequence was ruptured esophageal verices, a condition that very nearly ended my life. I haven't had a drink since -- that was enough of a wake-up call for me. But, had it not been for one very talented, non-judgmental and supportive GI physician, I may well have gone back on the road to self-destruction. He put it to me simply, stating that if I drank again I would certainly die, perhaps not immediately, but before too long. His demeanor and non-judgmental attitude (which was not matched by his colleagues) made me think that perhaps I wasn't such a bad person after all. Maybe there was a reason for me to work on staying sober and continuing on with my work with severely mentally ill people. He didn't just save my life in the medical sense, he also helped me to see that my addiction didn't define me. It's a characteristic, not the essence of who I am. Without that support, it would have been much more difficult to move forward.

Those who have never lived with the shame, guilt and self-loathing of addiction cannot possibly understand how the words and attitudes of others, especially professionals, impact the potential for recovery. If an alcoholic or addict is being told, verbally or otherwise, that their addiction makes them less human than the patient in the next bed, it's a fair bet that message will only reinforce what the addicted patient already believes about him or herself: "I am worthless, so why even bother to attempt sobriety? I don't deserve anything more than the hell I'm already putting myself through."

In my nursing career, I've seen this on a daily basis - some of my colleagues don't even attempt to hide disgust when taking care of someone with alcohol and/or drug addiction. Granted, we who have visited that personal hell largely created our own problems. And, as such, the recovering among us (who number more than the average person may think) own that fact and keep it in the forefront of consciousness. After all, anyone who's escaped that madness intact and spent any extended amount of time living sober typically has no desire to go back. It happens, to be sure, but I can only guess that the push has to be enormous for anyone to consider revisiting the twisted existence that is addiction. The bigger issue, however, is the jaundiced (pun intended) view of the caregiver. There seems to be no shortage of self-righteousness among those charged with assisting the addicted person on a path to wellness.

I've heard my colleagues refer to alcoholic patients as "scum," "piece of crap," "waste of human flesh." I've heard pronouncements like "She did it to herself, I don't feel sorry for her." Often these words are uttered shortly before the person casting the judgment goes off the unit for his or her smoke break, an irony I would find amusing if it wasn't so hypocritical and the person so mean-spirited. Yet, this is a daily occurrence, and I don't see it changing anytime soon.

How, then, do healthcare professionals find a way to drop the judgmental attitude and start caring for a person at the core of their being, rather than seeing only the surface of the addict? I firmly believe that education is key - most healthcare professionals only get a smattering of addiction medicine in school, which is ludicrous given the number of addicted patients a nurse or doctor will see in a given year. Learning about the root causes of addiction: genetic, environmental, psychiatric and behavioral may serve to assist professionals in seeing addicted patients more as human beings with medical or psychiatric disorders as opposed to self-indulgent, lazy people who don't deserve the same care and consideration as do people with less "annoying" illnesses.

If one sits down and has a conversation with an addicted person regarding the problem I think there would be one universal truth communicated. That is, no one sets out to become addicted to anything. It's not a goal one strives for. It's an insidious problem that wraps itself around the brain, and before the affected person can think twice, it's there. The fact is, people with addictions to substances don't possess an "off" switch. If we did, we could drink like "normal" people do - a glass of wine with dinner, a cocktail before bed - but we can't. And an enormous piece of recovering is regaining a sense of self-worth, a feeling that maybe the hard work ahead will be worth it. Finding people to support this process isn't easy. But each and every healthcare professional who cares for an addicted person can make a start. By treating the alcoholic or addict with the same respect and kindness shown to someone with a more "conventional" medical problem, there's a chance the message "you're worth my time, so you're worth making the effort to overcome this" may be conveyed. I know that message came through loud and clear to me. Without it, I wouldn't be here.

Please do not use the word "all". Thank you.

Thank you, neverbethesame....

I will admit that I may have been among those who had no tolerance for alcoholics, but your article was profoundly written, and has planted a seed of doubt. I am a very disciplined person and have a hard time tolerating those who ruin their own lives, but I see your point, one that many others have tried to make me see, and failed to do so.

duplicate.

Love the article, but I have encountered numerous addicts. I do not feel sorry for them, and at times I do judge them, the addicts that won't buy their seizure medication, or Tylenol for their child's fever because they can't afford it, but they smoke two packs of cigarette a day, just bought junk food from the vending machine, brought their pain medication, or they drink daily. They are on dialysis, have DM, do not control their glucose still smoking and does not know why their wound will not heal or why they are losing another toe. I am not sorry for feeling this way, we can not enable addicts, I am not here to baby them, addicts need to stop feeling sorry for themselves, attempt to get help, and stop blaming others. We all have choices, that we make, we are not perfect, but when we make the worry choices, we have to face it, fix it and move on. I have many addicts in my family, drunks, smokes, drugs, comfort eaters, etc. The ones I feel sorry for is their family-their parents their children the spouse, and etc.

You clearly have never struggled with an addiction, or loved someone dear who has.

Were that we mere mortals were as upright, clean, and pure as you......congratulations.

The article was very good. I am very empathic to the plights of the addicted and treat ALL of my patients the same regardless of my feelings about how they are doing damage to their gift of life. I get to know them as human beings and after knowing that I have a connection/rapport with them, I even talk to them about their "wake up call" and get their plan about getting better so as to avoid getting such conditions (again) like necrotizing fasciitis, etc.

Some things to remember: ANYONE can get addicted to ADDICTIVE substances. That is why they are called that.

"Spreading unhappiness, etc" is not an addiction; it is a poor character trait.

We nurses are indeed making judgment calls. If not, why do we teach self-care and wellness? Is that not

imposing the values of society (best practices, research findings) at large upon someone?

Use of absolute words are judgmental: everyone, all, always, never, etc.

There is very good help out there for the taking as evidenced by the OP's story...people CAN and DO beat

addictions. It is a choice.

Thank you.

Specializes in oncology,med/surg,psych..

Hi Susan ! Loved your history and how distructive the Nursing support team leaves US all. I worked 34 years in Hospital setting Functioning VERY high daily but was controled by this distructive process of Alcohol Addiction! I also worked in an Alcohol treatment center with harsh judgement on chemical dependance issues. I had to stop going against my will to support this judgemental hospital! I now am retired from this harsh enviroment , but it hasn't changed my hope that GOD can restore us all to clear thinking and LOVE for GOD's People..:no:

Specializes in ICU, PACU, OR.

I was married to an alcoholic for 22 years. Destroyed our family while I tried to work with, and survive with the amazing functionality of this man. He was a better worker drunk than sober.

My children still to this day have issues from the situation even though they are grown. To compare the devastating effects with alcohol with other things such as cigarettes is a little off putting. Everyone knows the effects of tobacco, but I can't remember a time that a cigarette caused the death of someone in an automobile accident, unless they dropped the cig in their lap. I can't remember cigarettes bankrupting a bank account. I also can't remember cigarettes causing loss of memory for days, or causing black outs. Mind altering substances are very serious and cause loss of life.

It's human nature to judge people-we all do it, even addicts judge others-in fact very harshly, narcissistically and at times violently.

I'm very impressed with your accomplishments and I'm also glad that you had the unfortunate blessing of esophageal varices which stopped you in your tracks. If you had not had that near deadly wake-up call in your life, would you have continued on with your drinking? Many don't, many won't. So I personally and emphatically applaud you for moving on with your life and I am sure it is very hard to deal with the aftermath of your addiction, but taking on changing the world's attitudes is just like AA, one day at a time, one person at a time, and all you can do is plant the seed, and hope people are a little more understanding.

Specializes in Nursing Adminstration.

Until addiction is taught as the disease it is there will be nurses who misunderstand and continue to think a moral character defect is the reason for Substance Use Disorder (SUD). The misconceptions, bias attitudes and out right hatefulness to people suffering from SUD is very disheartening. We as nurses are better than that. We are taught to provide comfort and a healing attitude for people who are most in need of that care. If it is a bum from under a bridge going into DT's or a bank president who is dope sick, it still the same. These people need a caring nurse not a moral lecture. I have found that some of the very nurses who cast the loudest complaints do so out of ignorance or fear. SUD lowers inhibitions, places it's victims in precarious situations and makes getting the substance the body craves the most important driving force for that person. The sickness encompasses physical, mental and spiritual pain. Until that pain is dealt with the urge to use is still there. A kind word or action from a caring nurse can go a long way to easing a small part of that pain. Don't sell your patients short while looking down your nose at them, be the nurse you are suppose to be and give comfort, If you can stand to be around those suffering from SUD then don't. Find another place where you won't have contact with them. They suffer enough with out nurses heaping ridicule & scorn on them.

Well written. You make a lot of good points.

Without going into details, we're encountering a lot of patients with drug addiction and complications in clinicals. The Professors in my program have been very alert to what you are describing, and have gone out of their way to make sure we understand addiction better, and especially that we behave in a non-judgemental and caring manner with these patients. This is more difficult - but even more important - when the patient is actually drug seeking, or repeatedly engaging in self destructive behavior.

But you alluded to something that is really very important. You never know just what it is that will get through the fog to someone - like that doctor did with you.

It's a matter of timing, skill, compassion - grace and good fortune as much as anything else. So you're caring for a patient who's engaged in really self-destructive behavior: Maybe the few moments of listening or caring, or the chance comment, or the way you didn't flinch when you uncovered the dressing... you just don't know what it is that may (or may not) wake someone up and begin to take control of their lives, to make different choices. It's rarely the lecture, it's more often about 'presence' and really 'seeing' someone. You can't 'be' with someone when you're judging them.

Most addictions come out of daily frustrations.Why would anyone punish thenselves with self destructivce behavior unless they were stressed to begin with.

Specializes in FMF CORPSMAN USN, TRUAMA, CCRN.

Nicely said Moonmaid50